Day 5: What The Pandemic Didn't Kill

Disclaimer: I know for some people this pandemic has been nothing short of traumatic. I have friends who have watched loved ones die agonizing deaths. I do not wish to diminish the weight of that grief and all the chaos this pandemic has wrought. The following is intended to be a light-hearted take - please read it as such.

The death toll for COVID is staggering. The economic fallout is massive. The way we live our lives has fundamentally shifted. COVID has killed a lot of people and it has killed a lot of events, customs, and rituals, some temporarily, some still have never rebounded. Sporting events. Concerts. Cookouts. Vacations. School. Restaurants. Hotels. Family gatherings. There isn't a corner of our world where death, in some way, shape, or form, has not touched it.

Except for one very unlikely place, much to my everlasting dismay. 

And that, my friends, is the "passing of the peace," also known as the "turn and greet your neighbor" moment at church.

For those of you unfamiliar with church settings, this is the point in a church service, usually fairly early on, when a person stands on stage, all cheery and bright and probably an extrovert, and instructs the congregation to pause and take a moment to say hi to your neighbor, give 'em a high five, give 'em a hug, wave, whatever. So, then everybody turns around and pretends to have a meaningful interaction while every introvert in the room wants to hit the 'abort' button.

I am like the Holy Spirit in Romans 8:26 with my "wordless groans" every time this moment rolls around in a church service. I may be wordless, but I quite literally groan nearly every single Sunday. Sometimes I have to make a pact with myself to stop groaning about it because even I get tired of hearing myself complain about my perpetual disdain for the tradition. Words truly cannot express how much I despise this moment. My friends certainly know how much I hate this moment, and even if you're not my friend but are sitting in my vicinity on a Sunday morning, you're probably going to know it soon enough. 

Why? Why do churches insist on this moment? I do not understand. It's painful. It's awkward. It's weird. It's forced. It's artificial. It's dreadful. 

It's annoying as hell. 

It's bad enough if you're introverted, but if you're introverted and new to the church?

Feel free to rapture your people, Jesus, and save me from this moment.

As Scot McKnight wrote in the foreword of Adam S. McHugh's book Introverts in the Church, "Who, for instance, designed the 'Pass the Peace' moment in the church tradition? Surely not an introvert."

Exactly.

What's even more bothersome at times is that no matter where I go in the world, the same thing happens. I can be in a church with a mud floor in the middle of nowhere Kenya, or in a cathedral in a bustling city in Russia, and what happens? Yep, those loathsome, dreaded words come pouring out of the leader's mouth, "Why don't we all turn and greet our neighbors? Tell 'em how glad you are to see them today!"

For the love of Pete. 

COVID, you killed so many things. How did you manage to not bring a swift end to this tradition? I had such high hopes that this pandemic would wipe out this little moment in our church gatherings. But noooo, it's still alive and well.  

Dear Lord, I beg of you, may the passing of the peace rest in peace. And soon.