Creation Need Not Play to An Empty House

Life has been fairly calm as of late, which I'm certainly not complaining about.  In the quiet, though, it's made the little things stand out more so than usual.  Small moments that may seem insignificant or trivial, but ones I am grateful for nonetheless.  May I not be guilty of "despis[ing] the day of small things" (Zechariah 4:10).  I've been taking mental notes of some things here lately for which I am very grateful:

• Matching curtains! Finally! Back when I first moved into my apartment, I purchased some red curtains.  I failed to do the math and didn't buy enough panels.  When I went back to find more of what I bought, they were out.  In light of the shortage, I had been hanging this random strip of black fabric to fill the gap.  I kept checking the store every so often to see if more would come in - and lo and behold!  They got more!  Only took me about two years, but hey, I've finally got matching curtains.
• Purchasing an external hard drive - So, my personal laptop is going to officially turn 14 years old this summer.  Yes, it probably belongs in a museum, and yes, I still use it, and yes, it still works.  Buuuuuuuuut that probably won't always be true.  Figured I should probably be proactive and back everything up onto an external hard drive. It's only been on my to do list for practically 12 months.  
• Solving a problem  - My parents have a Honda Odyssey, which they have a love/hate relationship with.  Most days here lately it leans more toward the hate side.  They get rather frustrated when they find there are seemingly a dozen other Honda Odysseys in the parking lot, all of them looking exactly alike.  It makes finding theirs a bit more difficult.  I decided to solve their problem.  I bought a cheap taxi-like car topper and hand-wrote a sign on it that said, "HEY! This one is yours!" on one side.  I don't think my mom is going to be caught dead putting that thing on top of her van, even if she is annoyed that she can never find it in the seas of Hondas.  But either way, I thought it was a pretty ingenious solution.  I also bought some Ford magnets (we are a Ford family through and through - right up until my parents bought a Honda) to go over the Honda logos.

                                   

• A job I enjoy - I happen to really enjoy my job.  That hasn't always been true with this particular job I've been in now for over four years, but I genuinely enjoy getting up and going to work these days.
• Cheap gas! I was excited to see that gas was as low as $1.69, but then it got even better when I pulled up to the pump and it was listed at $1.63.  Somebody wasn't doing their job, but I wasn't going to complain.
• Just Pies - any time Just Pies is involved, it's always a good thing.  My sweet friend Jill surprised me with a strawberry rhubarb pie the other day.  So much amazingness packed inside a pie crust. 
• Dinner with Myrt - I have a dear friend from church, a woman I adore, who will turn 84-years old this May.  I had dinner with her the other night, and as I sat across the table from her, I just wanted to burst into tears, I got so overwhelmed with how grateful I am for her and how much I love her.
• Cable TV - I don't have cable at my own apartment, but I'm currently house/pet-sitting for some friends.  They have cable.  And I'm reminded of why I don't have cable at my apartment.  BECAUSE I AM AN UNPRODUCTIVE CITIZEN OF SOCIETY WHEN I HAVE CABLE. Seriously, I watch more movies on Hallmark Channel than what is deemed healthy. I turn into a lazy bum because all I do is sit around and watch TV.
• Scrapbooking - I finally got around to finishing my scrapbook of my September Wyoming trip. 
• I got crafty - I had a stash of old, empty wine bottles I had been wanting to paint and do something crafty with.  I dug through my paint drawer, discovered I had some enamel paint, which is the kind you can paint on and then bake the item in order to seal it.  So I painted my wine bottles all black, stuck them in the oven and waited for the magic to happen.  I honestly thought I would take them out of the oven and angels would descend from on high and shine a light on their awesomeness.  But they looked exactly the same as when I put them in the oven.  So, no angels, but they do make for nice racks for my bracelets. 

• Regular TV - You know, that thing people watch when they don't have cable.  I'm enamored with two shows: Victoria and This Is Us. I now plan my entire Sunday and Tuesday evenings around these shows.  Seriously, get on the Victoria and This Is Us train if you haven't already.
• Good books - I recently read The Perfect Horse, The Eighty-Dollar Champion and The Martian.  The first two are exceptional non-fiction stories.  Truly gifted story-telling.  And The Martian? Quite possibly one of the funniest books I have ever read.  It now sits on my all-time favorites list.  I had read it a year or two ago and decided to re-read it last month.  Still just as funny.
• Absent neighbors - Neighbors come and go in my apartment complex.  There was one set of neighbors who lived above me - how shall I put it? - let's just say I was very aware of their love life.  Very.  They have since been evicted, I'm assuming for reasons other than their crazy loud love life.  The people who now live there are in a band.  Yes.  Guitar- and bongo-playing kind of band.  I've heard enough "Proud Mary" and other classic rock songs to last me a lifetime.  They've been gone for the last two weeks.  Can't say that I'm the least bit bothered by this fact.
• My niece and her birthday party - One of my nieces recently turned five.  She insisted on a Star Wars theme.  She was decked out in a Princess Leia costume and went running around yielding a light-saber.  But the best part?  Her birthday cake.  Which was Tinker Bell.  May the fairy dust be with you.  

• Tears spilled over a friend I still miss - As hard as it is for me to believe, it will be five years tomorrow since Jonathan died. A couple of weeks back, our worship band at church sang the song "Never Once" by Matt Redman, which also happened to be a song that was played at Jonathan's funeral.  I cried through most of it.  I still miss him.  One of my most profound regrets in life is that I have no pictures of Jonathan and I together.  I don't know why that bothers me so much, but I just wish I had a picture of the two of us together.  It wouldn't make the reality of him being gone any less real - and it doesn't make the memories of him any less real by not having a tangible photo - but I still wish.  But regardless, I'm thankful for my friend and the tender memories of him.  

It's the little things that add up over time, that make a dent, that remind us of the small things that make up the big things. I'm grateful for the small things.

“We are here to abet creation and to witness it, to notice each thing so each thing gets noticed. Together we notice not only each mountain shadow and each stone on the beach but we notice each other's beautiful face and complex nature so that creation need not play to an empty house.” - Anne Dillard   

You Know You Need a New Phone When...

I was raised to believe that you maybe pay a little bit more to buy a quality product, and then take really good care of it so that it lasts forever.

I take that approach to heart.

As evidenced by my laptop.  Which will turn 13 years old this summer.  Still working like a champ.  I mean, I may not always be able to connect to modern Wi-Fi, but minor detail.

Let's also not forget the shoes I wear to the gym, which will turn 11 this year.  My feet are living the dream.

I have another pair of black, semi-dressy slip-on shoes that will turn 10, shoes which I have super-glued back together more times than are necessary.  But these are probably my very favorite shoes.  They have been with me to every country I have ever visited, having bought them just before I went to Russia in 2006.  And I have never, ever found another pair like them.  I will go into mourning and wear black for a year when they finally kick the bucket.  But until then, I am holding onto them for dear life, with obvious super glue patches and all.

There's the faded red t-shirt I have had since I was a child (sadly or not sadly, I can still fit in it comfortably).  It has a giant horseshoe on it with a draft horse walking through the center.  I remember going to draft horse pulls a lot as a kid, which is where I think I acquired it.  It's so soft, so comfy, worn-in just so.  So, on the conservative side, maybe a good 20 years old?

And then there is my smartphone.

Which will be 4-years old this May.

For those of you who like to have the latest and greatest technology, your palms probably just broke out in a sweat and you felt anxiety settle in on my behalf.

Don't worry, the feeling will fade.  

I have a love/hate relationship with my phone.  I went kicking and screaming when I had to upgrade to this phone, so reluctant to join the rest of the world and their smartphone madness.  I was very partial to my basic, slide-keyboard phone, that was working just fine, thank you very much.  But I was getting ready to head back to Kenya at the time, and for a variety of reasons, it really did make sense for me to get something that was a little more useful overseas than my little Samsung Rogue.

I switched over to my current smartphone before I went to Kenya back in 2012, but I kept my Rogue on hand.  After I got back, I switched back to my Rogue, probably out of stubbornness because I didn't want to pay the data fee that was now attached to my newly-acquired smartphone.

I have noticed, however, in recent months that a vast majority of apps no longer work on my phone.  My bank app quit working because it said it was no longer compatible with my phone.  I uninstalled a couple of apps where I listened to sermons and podcasts because my whole phone would crash when I tried to open them.  Alas, the old gray mare ain't what she used to be.  

Let's take the ESPN app, for example.

It still loads on my phone and I can still get current scores.  But none of the headlines are current.  

The headline now reads "Warriors Hold Off Clips", with a picture of Blake Griffin.

Which happened roughly 367 days ago.

That apparently is the last time my ESPN app experienced an update.  And when I try to get the latest version from the app store, I get that oh-so-frequent error, "This is not compatible with your phone."

But I'm not complaining.

So long as I can text and make calls, my little phone and I will continue on our merry way.  

Because who cares if ESPN doesn't load right when you've got Sports Illustrated, right?!

Why I Said No to Social Media

There are generally four acceptable ways of getting in touch with me:
1) Email
2) Phone (Although, that can be questionable some days, as I don't always carry my phone.)
3) US Postal Service
4) Showing up on my doorstep, in person.

You'll notice what this list does not include:
1) Facebook
2) Twitter
3) Instagram
4) LinkedIn
5) Basically any form of social media (minus this blog, which I don't really count because it's not actually all that social.  It's more of a one-way street, and I get maybe three comments a year.  I don't think that really qualifies as a conversation or anything resembling "social".)

Around this time about 5 years ago, I began exiting social media.  Goodbye, Facebook.  Goodbye, LinkedIn.  I was never on Twitter to begin with, so that was easy.  Instagram came on board later, but then I would eventually delete that one as well.  Nothing cataclysmic had happened to warrant the exodus - there was no bullying, there was no massive and public breakup with a boyfriend, there was no privacy breach, nor any other dramatic reason that sometimes warrants people deleting their accounts.

I just simply knew me.

I knew what I was becoming because of social media, the ways I would obsess over whether I had any notifications or not.  The ways I would scroll through page after page, looking at the highlight reels of my friends' lives and wondering why I didn't have what they had.  The ways my insecurities would rise to the surface and threaten to choke me.  The ways I would feel the pangs of jealousy take root when I would see friends getting engaged, only to stare down at my own ring finger and see it empty.  The ways I wanted the whole world to see me, a desire rooted deep in narcissism, but in the next breath I wanted to retreat and hide because I didn't want the world to know anything about me. (When I turned 24, I was very anti-posting my birthday on Facebook, for whatever reason.  But then when hardly anyone remembered my birthday and or sent any birthday wishes, I got super annoyed and had a serious pity party. I have never claimed to be totally rational.)  The ways I would waste time and precious brain space obsessing over all the wrong things.  So, yeah, I knew me.

I know me.

And I knew social media wasn't worth the exchange I was making.  I also didn't care to have so much information out there in cyberspace about me.  Granted, it was self-moderated information, but it was out there nonetheless.  (So maybe there's a little bit of the thought of Big Brother hanging out there as well.  But then I have this blog where I'm willing to spill my guts?  Also makes no sense, I know.)

Do I think Facebook and Twitter and all of that is evil and of the devil? No.  Do I think they are going to be the death of society? Maybe.  Maybe at least the death of our ability to actually have a conversation with another human being in the flesh and instead of on a screen.  I've always equated social media and our culture to the frog in the lukewarm water.  We've been so accepting and so enamored with social media that one day I fear we will wake up and find that we just died a long, slow painful death, just like that frog in that lukewarm water.  Do I think I will never, ever, ever, ever have a social media account again?  No.  Who knows what reasons may arise in the future that might warrant opening an account.  I can't really even fathom what those reasons might be right now, but I'm not ruling out the possibility.  Do I think social media has no place in our lives? No.  It has a place, and I see the value in it for businesses and non-profits and organizations, a means of connecting with a world, your customer immediately at your fingertips. 

But for now, I know me.  And I know me and social media don't need to mix.  So, I won't even attempt to hold up the façade I would surely work so very hard to create if I had a Facebook account.  It would be a charade.  And I'm not a big fan of charades.  I'll spare myself that misery.

Should you find you need to reach out to me or talk with me, spare yourself the hassle of searching for my Facebook profile.  Your searching will be in vain and your search bar will come up with "No results found".

But you're always welcome to find me in the flesh, and have a conversation with me that involves eyes and ears and spoken words. That's my kind of social media.           

Some battles don’t need to be waged. We don’t have to consume the lives of others through social media. And when we do, we should keep in mind that we’re only seeing a small slice, often the best slice. People post about the good times, that fun family vacation with the loving husband and angelic kids. Chaos might have broken out minutes before or after the photo, but that Kodak moment is what everyone sees. - Kim Cash Tate, "Social Media Heart Check" 

RIP Not-So-Smart Phone And Other Technology I Should Part With

 I had a moment of silence this past week for my not-so-smart phone.  It decided to die and go to the land of cellphone heaven.  I couldn't even get it to power on anymore.  It just kept flashing the Verizon logo over and over again, almost as if it were sending out its final distress signal.  It lived a good life, being carted around to various parts of the globe.  It was maybe dropped a time or two (or three or four), but I was determined to hang on to it for as long as possible because I hate making upgrades to things like this and I hate paying for them even more.  Which probably explains why I held onto it for as long, a solid run of 4 1/2, if not 5 1/2 years.  We can chalk it up to one part practicality and two parts stubbornness.  Why buy something new when what you've got works perfectly fine (most of the time)?  I did have to activate, much to my dismay and annoyance at a higher phone bill, the smartphone I already had on hand, one I bought over two years ago when I knew I was going to be in Kenya for awhile and it was just going to be easiest to have that kind of technology while traveling, especially for international calls.  I generally go kicking and screaming when it comes to upgrades, but eventually get over it and move on with life.  You just gotta let me stomp my feet for awhile and pitch a fit and then I finally settle into my reluctance.

Note, most of the letters have vanished

There's also my dinosaur of a laptop, which is now over 11 years old.  In the land of technology, that's equivalent to forever.  I bought it the summer I graduated from high school and I've only had to replace the hard drive once.  Otherwise, it has worked like a champ.  Granted, these days it sounds like a small aircraft taking off most of the time because the fan blows quite a bit.  And it probably weighs at least 6-8 pounds, which is a tank compared to what laptops weigh these days.  And most of the letters have worn off due to my constant clacking around on it with long fingernails.  As with my phone, I am reluctant to purchase another laptop until this one officially bites the dust.  I really don't use it that often anyway these days, so why bother spending the money right now?  The IT guys at my office, lovers of all things Apple and current, frequently shake their heads at me and wonder if I was dropped on my head as a child.      

We then have my stereo.  Which I got as a gift for my 16th birthday.  That now makes it 14 years old.  Also, still working like a champ.  It even has a cassette deck as a bonus.  Don't judge.  And don't roll your eyes.  I get that I live in a world that clamors for the latest and greatest and is appalled that I have the same box TV that I had when I was in high school, but maybe this is my small way of taking a stand (albeit a lame one) and pushing back on the world. 

I am well aware of my love/hate relationship with technology and all things social media these days, the constant beeping and buzzing and chirping of machines that we have somehow allowed to rule our lives. 

I have a quote from a book I read once, on a Post-It note stuck to my mirror that says ,"How do you know have ADD or a severe case of modern life?"  I think various people think I have lost my mind when I say I don't have internet in my apartment - or TV - or microwave - or cable. But I love it.  I really, really, really relish it.  I like unplugging from the world and occasionally being unreachable.  I like falling off the map, off the grid, and out of reach. I get to slow down and literally disconnect.  I know someday I'll eventually have to make the trade and buy a few technological appliances that work, but I'm going to stick with the faithful ones I've got right now.

So, farewell, not-so-smart phone.  You were smart enough for me and that's all that mattered.