It's been previously established I have no social media accounts. It's an intentional lifestyle choice, but ironically enough, part of my big-girl job is to serve as the social media coordinator for the conference I plan. If you're scratching your head right now, that's okay. I do so myself on occasion. It was a bit of an accident and somehow I wound up taking over the responsibilities here a couple of years ago.
I can't imagine the circumstances under which I would ever resurrect my own personal existence on social media, but once in a blue moon, though, I do have fleeting thoughts where I think, "Man, I wish I had an account on Twitter or Facebook." The key word is fleeting. F-L-E-E-T-I-N-G. Those thoughts last all of about 0.67 seconds, and it's usually because I want to tweet at someone, not because I feel like I have something to say otherwise.
Alas, since I don't have Twitter (or Facebook or Instagram or TikTok), I'm going to resort to merely posting a collection of trivial tweets I've thought of recently, the things I would say if I had Twitter (or Facebook or Instagram or TikTok). Maybe I just need to coerce all my friends who do have social media to post these on my behalf?!
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| The real Jon McLaughlin would be the one on the right |
- @JonMcLaughlin: Did you know your long-lost twin is on the cover of DiAnn Mills' book Firewall? #DoubleTake
- @BenRector: Your lyrics to "If You Can Hear Me" greatly trouble me. "Sometimes the devil sounds a lot like Jesus, telling me I'm not enough." These lyrics make no sense to me, no matter how many times I listen to them. Please explain. #SoConfused
- @HappyRantPod: What are the odds you have transcripts of your episodes? I am looking for ONE line said by Ronnie Martin in an episode sometime in 2020 that literally changed my life. That shouldn't be hard to find, right? #NeedleInAHaystack
- @LeagueLegacyUS: Once upon a time you made the world's most PERFECT ball cap. WHY DID YOU STOP MAKING IT? #BringItBackFromTheDead #PrettyPlease
- @LazBoy: I swear my recliner is laced with sedatives. I blame you for my lack of productivity. #TheStruggleIsReal
- @BathBodyWorks: You make a gazillion different scented candles. Why can't you carry the ONE scent I want (You're The One) on the ONE day of the year I bother to set foot in your store?! #WhatIsTheDeal #YoureNotTheOne #FirstWorldProblems
- @Subaru_USA: I made the right choice when I bought my Forester. #YoureTheOne
- @PilotPenUSA: You make the world's best pen. Just thought you should know. G-2 all the way! #Seriously #ILoveIt #IRarelyTravelWithoutOne
- @Techstyles Sportswear: I really wish you would sell direct-to-consumer. You make my favorite sweatshirt. And the only place I have found them so far is in a store in Jackson, Wyoming. Know anyone in Ohio who sells your sprinter crew sweatshirt??
- @SieteFoods: I typically buy no less than four bags of Lime Tortilla Chips when I go to the store. This is a problem. But occasionally I get a bag I swear is stale. This, too, is a problem. #WhatsUpWithThat
- @FoodShouldTasteGood: I would buy no less than four bags of Harvest Pumpkin Chips when I go to the store but you STOPPED MAKING THEM. Why does everyone feel the need to discontinue my favorite products? #HelpASistaOut #BringBackHarvestPumpkin
