In No Mood for Words

Oddly enough, I have not been in much of a mood to write as of late.  This is a strange occurrence that happens every so often when I am just fresh out of quasi-witty, quasi-profound thoughts or stories to tell.  It can be a bit distressing at times.  I guess you could call it writer's block.  I could probably just call it laziness some days.  I do, however, have pictures and those often more than make up for lack of words.  So, in lieu of words this week, I give you my life recently in photos:

One of the groomsmen in Jeremy and Emily's wedding recommended
I read The Silmarillion by Tolkien.  I'm just wondering how long it will
take me.  The Lord of the Rings trilogy took me about 3-4 months.
Give me about a year and then ask me how far I made it through this book.

Yes, this would be my cousin Christian with Bob Goff at the
Love Does Stuff Conference in Tacoma, Washington last week.
I'm not jealous.

And yes, this would be Christian again with Donald Miller at the
Love Does Stuff Conference.  And again, I am not jealous.  

Christian was kind enough to pick up signed copies of Love Does and
A Million Miles in a Thousand Years for me at the conference, two of
my very favorite books.  The jealousy mildly eased. 

I bought a box set of Passion City Church DVDs.
Thank you, Louie Giglio, for ruining my prayer my life.  I now have no idea
how to pray and I ding myself every time I find myself starting to pray
"Lord, bless this...watch over and protect me...be with me..."  But that's how it should, I suppose.
That I would not mindlessly pray to the God of the universe.
  "Boys Meets Girl" is solid wisdom.  "Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness!"
Haven't watched the others yet.  

My niece Sophie and her dad/my brother Jeremy working on the pulling tractor.
Just by the looks of Sophie that day you would have thought she had spent
more time working on the tractor than the boys did. Grease stains on her
hands. Oil stains down her shirt.  Dirt smudges on her cheeks. Happy as can be.  

I was going back through journals last week. I found this on the very
first page of the first journal I have.  I think we got resolutions 2-4 covered, thankfully.
It's the first and the last ones we are still working on.  Sixteen years later. Obviously
I have never been good at resolutions.  That's probably why I don't make them anymore.

My latest commissioned art project per my sister-in-law's request.
I'd say with 4 kids and baby #5 on the way, that's a fair statement to
make in their household.

Prep list for what, you might ask? Guatemala, silly!  My next overseas
adventure will take me to the hotter-than-blue-blazes location of Guatemala.
I'm headed there in August for a week with a trip my church is taking.  It will be strange
going overseas for only a week.  Packing will be a breeze!

That's all I have for now.  When I find some words worth putting down you'll be the first to know.  Thank you to the 12 people who routinely read this blog and sometimes find me funny.  You do wonders for my self-esteem, even on weeks when I have no words.  

Sweeter Seasons

Some seasons of life are just too sweet to not relish and revel in.  This has been one of those seasons for me.  Maybe not in its entirety, but at least in parts.  

I was re-reading journals from one year ago and I was so overwhelmed by the extravagant grace God had lavished on my life.  It's absurd, really.  I look back over entries from a year ago - a lot of uncertainty about a lot of things, praying for Jesus to show up. Man, did he ever.  And in ways that I didn't even recognize in the moment, but now see so clearly in hindsight.  In my job.  In my adventures to Kenya.  In relationships.  In dreams.  Every prayer I had written down from a year ago, he had clearly answered.     

One reason this season has been so sweet and tender for me is because I have been given a front row seat to the unfolding love stories of three very important women in my life.  I have never been one to be prone to a lot of loneliness or to ever really resent being single.  But that's not to say that I wouldn't hope to someday be married.  It's just that my identity and purpose in life do not hinge on that event.  Whether God ordains some man to come along and be my partner or not will not diminish my pursuit of Him.  But the hard moments have come nonetheless when I would watch other people's stories unfolding and think, "Why them and not me?"  The bitterness and resentment would creep in and I'd find myself forgetting all that God had bestowed upon me. Utter foolishness.  One time in particular was especially difficult.  I watched God pour out blessing after blessing after blessing on one friend.  And I almost missed it all.  I sometimes got so bound up in my own little mind, comparing myself to her, that I nearly missed the opportunity and the privilege to simply celebrate with her and alongside her.  I vowed to never miss opportunities like that again, to not get so consumed by what I didn't have and miss what I did have.  

So in this season when I have a string of friends getting engaged and married, not an ounce of resentment or jealousy has risen in my heart because Jesus has set me free.  Free to celebrate with these amazing women.  Free to enjoy them and to celebrate their stories.  Free to serve them and encourage them in dating, engagement, in marriage.  Just simply free.  Such sweetness and gratitude over that fact.

I was honored to serve as a bridesmaid in my dear friend Emily's wedding a week ago.  And I loved it.  I loved standing up on that stage and hear her singing "in Christ alone, my hope is found..."  Because I know what Em has been through.  We've walked through a lot of seasons together, a lot of seasons of singleness, and I know what the good days have looked like and I know what the bad days have looked like.  I know the smiley days and I know the ugly-cry days.  I know the hope and the longing for someone else to enter into our fears and insecurities and to say "You don't have to face this alone anymore..."  I know when she sings those words, she may be holding the hand of a man she is absolutely wild about, but she is still confidently saying that in Christ alone her hope is found.  

These are the seasons and the friends and the stories I don't want to miss.  What sweet freedom is found in Him.