The Other Side of My Dreams

I started the journey home on Saturday afternoon at 2:30 and made it back on Sunday afternoon at 2:00, and there were a lot of emotions and stops in between.  I didn't have anybody mixing her cheesecake with her roast beef on the plane ride, but I'm pretty sure I looked at the lady in the shop in the airport like she had three heads, much like I did with my former seatmate.  I was killing time waiting for my flight in Nairobi so I stopped in one of the shops to get some water and see if maybe there were any last minute souvenirs.  I grabbed a bottled water and happened to see some bookmarks off to the side that had photos of some of the wildlife in Kenya with "Kenya" written in big bold letters across the top.  "These should be simple enough," I thought, something I could give to a few people as small mementos.  I go up to the counter, tell the lady I'm paying shillings since I still had some left and she told me it would 1,050 shillings for two bookmarks and a bottled water.

"Excuse me, how much?"

"1,050 shillings."

I'm kind of screeching at her at this point, "For what?  How much is the water and how much are the bookmarks?"

"Fifty for the water and 500 shillings for each of the bookmarks."

I think my jaw dropped at this point and I must have looked at her like she was mad.  The exchange rate is right around 80 shillings for one US dollar.  So the water was costing me less than a dollar, but a flimsy bookmark that should really cost no more than 75 cents was costing me over $6?!  I nearly told her that was crazy, but instead simply said no thanks, got my water, and kept my shillings.

I said good riddance to ridiculous airport prices, I enjoyed my water and then hopped on my flight to Ethiopia.  Once there, we made our way to Rome, then to D.C. and finally to Columbus.  It was hard saying goodbye to Kenya, hard saying goodbye to the children.   I was doing so well holding it together until David come out to give me a hug and when he turned around and left to go back to his room, one of his brothers came out and said, "David's crying."  Gee, kid, thanks for breaking for my heart and making this even harder by telling me that little fact.  I managed to hold it together long enough to tell them all goodbye and then I just cried my eyes out walking back to the guest house.  Some of them had given me notes, thanking me for coming, saying they'll miss me.  I'll treasure those notes always.

Since being home, I feel like I have wanted to eat everything in sight and nearly have.  Hawaiian pizza has never tasted so amazing and neither has apple pie, nor the spiced pumpkin cookies, nor one of my mother's milkshakes.  My body is probably going to hate me after having lived on beans, rice, and ugali for the last month.  There's a lot I'll miss about Kenya, those three things not among them, though.  I know God has a sense of humor, though, when I sat down to have my last meal with the kids.  I thought I had eaten beans for the final time on Thursday for dinner.  But then I sat down Saturday for lunch and saw that it was beans again.  "You would do something like this, wouldn't you, God? You're soooo funny."  I had a good laugh and still managed to eat my meal. 

I'm sure in the coming weeks and months I'll continue to unpack exactly what this trip meant to me and in the context of my life.  I think it has lifelong ramifications and implications, ones I may not see for years to come.  And I suppose it would be fitting to end this particular portion of the adventure by going back to a starting point - my paper in 7th grade.  Seems a little different now that I'm on the other side of my dream, doesn't it?

"I would definitely visit the exciting country of Kenya, Africa. To me, the animals and wildlife that live in Africa are fascinating. I would probably take an exciting safari trip! I could even take a few pictures of the herds of animals.

It sounds really exciting! After that I would tour the country to see what the region is like. I would visit the villages and cities to see the different customs and cultures that they have. Maybe I could learn to speak their language. Meeting the people of Kenya would be a special experience!!

It would be interesting to see how different Kenya is from the United States. Learning about the government, people, animals and farming of Kenya would broaden my horizons. The continent of Africa, in general, entices me. The animals and wildlife would have to be my main purpose to go to Kenya, Africa. This country seems to be very impressive.

That is why I want to visit this country so badly."

I like being on the other side of my dreams.  But there are many more dreams left and hopefully I'll get to see the other side of those, as well. 

"I'd Like to Thank the Academy..."

I feel like I'm about to get up on stage and say, "I'd like to thank the Academy and all of the little people who helped me get where I am today."  If I were saying the following in person, I'd probably be crying but since it's not, you'll be spared my tears and I won't be embarrassed .

In less than 24 hours, I'll be on a plane out of Kenya.  I'll say my goodbyes to the children and the staff, gather my things, and head home.  I'm anxious to get home - probably more so than ever before - but it will be sad to leave, too.  I was just thinking last night about how maybe I've said one too many goodbyes in my lifetime, especially in the last 7 years - it has become such a common part of my life that it's like second nature.  But it won't change the fact that my heart will still be sad.  I don't know that I can adequately convey what a rich and rewarding time this has been for me, in so many different ways.  I could go on and on about the blessings I have received while here.

But what I really want to take the time to say right now is "thank you."  Thanks for reading, thanks for "virtually" coming along with me on this trip, thanks for commenting, thanks for laughing and crying along with me.  This blog has been an unexpected blessing - it's not only afforded me the chance to write, which I love doing, but it's afforded me the opportunity to share stories, to share photos, to share life with others who cannot be here with me.

I won't have the space nor the time to adequately and sufficiently outline every single person that has had a hand in this trip.  You would get tired of reading after awhile.  So I'm writing to say thanks with broad strokes, but I'm trying to avoid saying "and I'd like to thank every person I have ever met," which just sounds insincere and lame. 

To my family at First Baptist Church in Fulton - Ed, Debbie, Pastor Gary and Kristin, the Missions Committee, those were at my prayer send-off, and so many others.  You helped make a dream come true.  I have spent nearly 7 years with you and you have welcomed with open arms, whether I was coming or going.  I would never be able to fully express what a gift you have been to me.  The countless college lunches, the prayers that you covered me with, the financial support for this trip, the time spent investing in my life, challenging me, supporting me, loving me.  You truly are the body of Christ in action.   Whatever thanks I have to say will always fall short.

To my new Rafiki family here in Kenya - Yeen-Lan, Patty, Catherine, Stephen, Peter, the Aunties and Mamas, the other ROS, and national staff.  What gems you have been to me.  I think short-term volunteers come here thinking they will be a blessing, but it us in fact who have been blessed.  My life is richer because of the opportunity to have labored alongside you.  It has been satisfying work, rewarding work.  Thank you for encouraging me and being such faithful followers of Christ and for so obediently serving Him.

And here's the part where I would probably start crying so hard that I wouldn't be able to get the words out and the stage director would say it's time for a commercial and would cue the orchestra so that I would get off the stage faster.

Mom and Dad - I know I said most of this in the letter I left you, but I want to say it publicly because you need to know that your support has mattered a great deal to me.  Being a parent is a thankless job, and your children often forget that you have emotions and fears as well.  I know you have had to battle many of those fears through this process - it was hard enough to send me to Missouri, to San Diego, to Russia, to North Carolina, then back to Missouri, and a few other places in between.  Then I decided to come to Africa and I'm sure the fears roared.  But I'll never be able to sufficiently tell you how grateful I am to have the kind of parents who said "go" even though I know you desperately wanted to say "stay" (which you certainly did say on several occasions, but also had enough sense to know I'd be going anyway).  :)  Thanks for giving me the chance to take flight when you would have liked to have clipped my wings, even if for my own protection and your peace of mind.  You have done well and I'm honored to call you my Mom and Dad.

Jeremy, Josh, Grace, Julie, Grandma, MawMaw, and the rest of the clan, whom I dearly love - you can't be replaced.  Thanks for keeping in touch even when I'm galavanting all over the place.  Thanks for loving me even when it seems I spend more time apart from you than with you.  I'm hoping my time apart from you becomes few and far between in the coming years.  I'm tired of always being gone from you all.  

I know there are plenty of other people I could thank who have been a part of this trip in both big and small ways, and I write these knowing I'm just grazing the surface - I'm not intentionally trying to leave anyone out so don't take offense.  Stephanie and Zach, thanks for your financial support.  Em, thanks for dreaming alongside me and going to training with me even though it didn't work out for you to likewise come to Africa this summer.  I know your Africa will someday become a reality, too.  Alex, you are a priceless gem.  I'm glad you were in Germany the same time I was here just for the sheer fact that even though we were thousands of miles apart, we'll share in the experience of being abroad.  I'll think of you tomorrow when I have to become a Girl Scout again to navigate the airports.  Kristen, Erica, Venita, Travis, Student Life Staff, and so many other friends and former co-workers - thanks for your prayers and e-mails of encouragement.

I know, my words aren't enough.  And the music is playing telling me I need to get off stage.  Thank you, Father, for truly I would not have missed this for the world.           

Just One Request

As I was watching Peter one day, I was amazed at how he took the time to say hello to each one of the children or to sit down with them and ask them how their day is.  There are a lot of other things he could be doing.  He is on the maintenance staff here so gutters need to be cleaned and repaired, roofs need fixed, trim needs painted, and the list goes on.  But Peter sets those things aside so that he can get down on the same level as the kids, look them in the eye, and genuinely care about them.

But you want to know what's really amazing about Peter?

He's an orphan.

Just like the kids that he stoops down to talk to, he has no parents.  And so he takes the time to let each of them know that even if he or she doesn't have parents, they at least have a few minutes with him and they have his undivided attention.

It's stunning to realize in that moment, watching him, here was proof of the sovereignty and grace of God for here is an orphan helping influence the next generation of orphans.  And I imagine there will be a day when these Rafiki orphans will turn and reach out to other orphans.    

There are others here on staff that are likewise orphans, and here they are working at an orphanage, investing in the lives of 91 young Kenyan children who once upon a time had no hope.

You see, Rafiki is committed to making a difference in the lives of orphans, both young and old, in ten different countries scattered throughout the continent of Africa.  They firmly believe in raising these children in their native country, teaching them their native language in addition to English, and equipping them so that they can give back to their own countries.  I think sometimes it's easy for us to think in America that we can just slap a band-aid on something to fix it, or in the case of these children, we may want to just remove them from their country all together, bring them to America, teach them our culture, our ways, and send them to our schools.  There certainly is a time and a place for that, but one of the chief reasons why I gladly stand behind Rafiki's vision is that they do not allow their children to be adopted.  They are not simply removed from the situation.  They are equipped in the midst of it.  Their own countries need them to be godly leaders and students more than America or other countries need them to be godly leaders and students.

But why do I say all that?  Because I want you know that what Rafiki is doing, what God is doing through Rafiki, matters.  It matters a great deal.  It matters to the people who work here, the native Kenyans, the long-term overseas staff, the children, people from the community who come and go from the village.

I'm not the kind of person to ask anyone for help normally.  I get a little too self-sufficient and self-reliant for my own good (I'm working on it).  But in this case, I have one request and in this situation, I'll unashamedly ask:  Help.  Not in a desperate HELP! sort of way, just help.  Schools and cottages need to be built as more and more children are brought into the fold, children need sponsors, volunteers are requested to come and to labor alongside those who are already here.  The villages don't run on air, good intentions, and imaginary labor.  But I want to be sure to say this too - I'm not here to appeal to pity and I'm not here to appeal to guilt.  This isn't about feeling sorry for these children.  God is working here and he has been faithful to carry each of the children to their respective villages and he will be faithful to carry them unto the end.  He can do it without you and he can do it without me.

But why not jump into the fray of it all and get your hands dirty a little bit and find out just how big our God is?

There are several ways to get on board and help out.  One, you can sponsor a child, which entails monthly financial support.  You can obtain more information at Rafiki's Sponsor page or you can call the Home Office at 352.483.9131.  I know for a fact that Lilian (pictured left with Clint trying to make her smile by pulling her cheeks back), who is just three years old and just arrived here in the village a couple of months ago does not have a sponsor.  You could help be the first.

Two, you can come.  Come to Africa.  Doesn't matter if it's Kenya or another Rafiki village in Africa.  Just come.  Have construction skills and knowledge?  Come build a new school for them.  Come build some new cottages.  Want to teach little ones on up to high-school aged students?  Come teach for awhile.  Come love on some kids, even if for a couple of weeks.  You can obtain more information about the short-term trips here.    For other ways to give, you can go here and see a complete list.

It doesn't matter how big or small - could be $10 or $10,000.  Could be 2 weeks here or two months here.  Could be 1 child sponsored or 10 children sponsored.  Could be 1 square foot of space provided for, could be 100 square feet.  Whatever it is, whatever prayers offered, it matters.          

Join Peter in raising up the next generation of godly leaders, not because they are orphans, but because they are humans, God's children, and we are responsible to them simply because of that very fact. 

Out of the Darkness

From the time I moved into my office during grad school, I had a map of the world hanging on the wall.  But it wasn't your usual map.  It was a map of the world at night, a composite image of satellite photos taken over the course of time.  I've always had a fascination with maps ever since I was a child, but this one in particular always captivated me.  Maybe because I wondered what it meant for all those lights to be on at night - it meant people were working and living and doing, right?

But what of those places that had few, if any, little yellow dots indicating that electrical currents were flowing freely?  Was life happening for them?  Were they not able to work or were they merely working under the cover of darkness?

For some time now, I've been haunted by a particular concept in Scripture.  It seems I can't escape it and my thoughts often turn to it when I'm studying.  I first stumbled across the idea while doing one of Beth Moore's studies.  From there it has spawned a hundred different thoughts and caused me to trace the concept across the pages of God's Word, but I'm always left asking the same question:  What is the connection between work and darkness?

If you look in Leviticus 16:29-30, it says, "This is to be lasting ordinance for you:  On the tenth day of the seventh month you must deny yourselves and not do any work - because on this day atonement will be made for you, to cleanse you."  But connect the dots with me over to Luke 23:44 where it says, "It was now about the sixth hour, and darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour, for the sun stopped shining.  And the curtain of the temple was torn in two."  

You see, when the sun stopped shining, the Father and the Son went to work.  Atonement was being made for the people under the cover of darkness.  It's pitch black outside and now no one can work.  The only person working was the Son.

And from Genesis to Revelation, from the first page of the Bible to the very last, I think this concept holds true.  Now, I'm no Hebrew or Greek scholar, so I'm sure there is a lot to the language that I would need to really dig into to confirm this, but even without such academic understanding, it's still saying the same thing:  God goes to work when it's darkest.  Out of the darkness, God called forth the light when he formed the earth.  Out of the darkness, God caused a deep sleep to come over Adam and God went to work forming woman (Genesis 2:21-22).  Out of the darkness, God God brought a darkness over Abram and made a covenant with him (Genesis 15:12-21).  Out of the darkness, God sent his one and only Son to die on the cross, making the ultimate atonement for his people.

But it will be out of the darkness when God says I have no more need for you, no more need for darkness because I have completed the work I set out to do.  Revelation 22:4-5 says, "They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads.  There will be no more night.  They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light."   There will come a day when there will no longer be a need for darkness because the work of atonement will be finished.

I know I haven't seen the worst of the worst here in Africa, but I've seen enough to know that it's just on the other side.  And I wonder sometimes if God is working here.  I look into the faces of the people, and look into their eyes, and I wonder what hope they have.  I look out over the land where all I see is desperation and despair at times and I wonder how God is working in the face of it all.  I wonder if any work is being done on the Dark Continent.   

But then I remember that map of the world at night.  If we looked at the world based only on strength of light, Africa might as well not exist.  It's nothing but darkness except for a few small corners of it.   And as I ponder that map, I remember that God is a God who does his best work under the cover of darkness.  I think God is doing some of his best work in the darkness of Africa, an atoning work.  He's out to redeem his people - the orphans, the widows, the sick, the hungry, the poor.  Am I saying His work is being done exclusively in Africa and not elsewhere?  Of course not.  God cannot be so confined and I cannot be so foolish to believe that it is only in darkness that he works.

But whether darkness or light, I know God is working here.  Because there are 91 little orphans and 50 or so staff who are some incredibly bright lights in a very dark land.  They will be his hands and feet that go to work bringing the Light to this darkness.  

"Into marvelous light I'm running, out of darkness, out of shame..."

"It's 5 o'clock somewhere..."

Who knew going to church could be such an entertaining adventure.  I really felt Annie Dillard's quote was appropriate for this morning, in a very literal way:

“Does anyone have the foggiest idea of what sort of power we so blithely invoke? Or, as I suspect, does no one believe a word of it? The churches are children playing on the floor with their chemistry sets, mixing up a batch of TNT to kill a Sunday morning. It is madness to wear ladies’ straw hats and velvet hats to church; we should all be wearing crash helmets. Ushers should issue life preservers and signal flares; they should lash us to our pews.”

Maybe I didn't need the usher to issue me a crash helmet, but I imagine it would have been appropriate for the bus driver to give me one. 

I've only been able to go to church two of the Sundays that I've been here and today would be the first time I would go with the children.  Normally there are two cottages that go to the Anglican church, while the other 8 cottages got to Thika Road Baptist Church.  Today, however, was a little different.

Today the bus got a flat tire. 

This was before anybody had been picked up yet, so none of us were on the bus when it got a flat tire, but it caused a chain reaction which led to all 91 children plus the 10 mamas going to Thika Road instead of dividing up.

But here's the thing.  The church bus is like a short bus and a half, and you have to deliver the kids in two trips.  Most regular school buses in the states I think fit around 45 kids.  Okay, well, lose some space and we still have to fit the same number of kids, plus some of the mamas.  We've got kids in their Sunday finest sitting on each other's laps, faces squished against the windows, mamas trying to suck it in, and me left sitting on a worn out cushion on the bus steps at the door's entrance, holding onto whatever I can find anchored down.  It's a good thing it's a short drive, albeit through some rough roads. I also had my own little knight in shining armor next to me during the bus ride.  Not only had Johnson informed me this morning while waiting how to change a tire and that he can successfully do so himself (he's 4-years old), he also warned me when the big bumps or hills were coming and told me that I need to hold tightly to the bar.  I let go at one point, and he instructed me again that I must hold on.  It's nice to know someone is watching out for me, even if he's barely tall enough to reach my waist.  :)

We make it safely to church, the streets of Mwiki and Kasarani a blur as I stare out the window during the trip.  We drop all the kids off to the children's church service and I head into the main church service with the mamas.  Church starts at 10 and usually lasts until noon.  Both churches that I have been to now follow a similar line-up that churches in the states do - open with praise & worship, prayer, announcements, sermon, end with more praise & worship.  And, of course, there is also that standard routine in every church it seems:  the meet and greet.

I have no idea why I hate this part of church so much and why it makes me literally groan out loud, when the pastor tells you "turn and greet the person next to you, introduce yourself, tell them how glad you are they came this morning!"  (Is anybody else with me on this tradition?) I certainly am glad my pew neighbors came this morning, I just don't feel particularly compelled to tell them or to shake their hand.  I'm not trying to be rude or anti-social, I just want to get on with the service.  Maybe I'm too much of a pragmatist for my own good.   It's also a time that causes me to morph into the most awkward person on the planet.  I suddenly act like I'm twelve again and don't know how to look people in the eye.  Jess Tipton, Katirose, and I often laughed about this point while in church.


But on with the service we did go.  After two hours, we wrapped up and headed out the door to climb on the bus.  On the ride back, though, I managed to snag a seat with little David sitting on my lap, both of us crammed against the window.  The radio was on, which sounded weird to me since I hadn't heard one in awhile.  We're cruising along and what is this I hear playing?
 
"Pour me somethin' tall an' strong, make it a "Hurricane" before I go insane. It's only half-past twelve but I don't care.  It's five o'clock somewhere.

I had to hold in the laughter because I knew there was no way I was going to be able to adequately explain to a bunch of orphaned African children when they asked why I was laughing.  I found it so amusing to hear this song playing while on the bus ride back from praising Jesus.  They have no idea who Alan Jackson is, don't care who Jimmy Buffett is, and think a hurricane is probably just a big scary storm out in the ocean.  So I tried to control myself.

I just found the whole situation so amusing and ironic.  I dearly love country music, but really?  Of all the songs to be playing.

But we finally made it back to the village, no hurricanes in sight.  Crash helmets needed, indeed, when going to church.

I Will Tell Them

I am sitting still
I think of Angelique
Her mother's voice over me
And the bullets in the wall where it fell silent
And on a thousands hill, I think of Albertine
There in her eyes what I don't see with my own
Rwanda

Now that I have seen, I am responsible
Faith without deeds is dead
Now that I have held you in my own arms, I cannot let go till you are

I am on a plane across a distant sea
But I carry you in me
and the dust on, the dust on, the dust on my feet
Rwanda

I will tell the world, I will tell them where I've been
I will keep my word
I will tell them Albertine

I am on a stage, a thousand eyes on me
I will tell them, Albertine
I will tell them, Albertine 

I will tell them, Benson.

I will tell them, Peter.

I will tell them, Denise.

I will tell them, Abel.

I will tell them, Victor.

I will tell them, Elijah.

I will tell them, Rahab.

I will tell them, Hannah.

I will tell them, Stella.

I will tell them, Lillian.

To the children in Rafiki Village Kenya - I will tell them.

I will tell them of your matchless love for Jesus, even at 4-years old.  I will tell them how you pray prayers so selflessly and without thought to your own needs.  I will tell them of how you love to learn, how your minds are like little sponges.  I will tell them of how you make me weep over your purity and innocence, how the faith you possess is deeper than any faith I have ever known.  I will tell them of your longings to be pilots, pastors, doctors, and teachers.  I will tell them of your dreams for Kenya and how you proudly sing its national anthem every morning before school.  I will tell them of how you make me laugh at your silliness and joyful spirit.  I will them what it's like to hold your little hand in mine and marvel at the sovereignty of  God in a land and in a country that often seems as though God forgot it.  I will tell them how you consider all 91 children in the village your brothers and sisters though you may not be related by blood.  I will tell them how you sing hymns from the very depths of your heart, so off-key and so very loud.  I will tell them of a God whose grace has abounded in the hearts of young Kenyan orphans.   

I will tell them.

Now that I have seen, I am responsible.

I will tell them where I've been because I carry you in me and in the dust on my feet.

I will keep my word.

Do Good - Helping Haiti, Helping Africa

I probably would have come seriously close to dropping out of college if not for Kristina.  We were each other's form of sanity during my freshman year, her senior year.  We were suitemates, sorority sisters, sisters in Christ, and eventually Big Sis/Lil Sis.  How we met started sometime before I even set foot on the campus of William Woods.  When I first started looking at WWU, I wanted to talk to some current students.  So I hopped online and I randomly happened to find her profile.  We began chatting and kept in touch off-and-on over a year or two as I began to get closer and closer to high school graduation and my freshman year of college.  I arrived on campus, met her during recruitment, and the rest is history.  We have both bounced all over the world for quite a few years now, whether for school, jobs, or missions.  We've managed to stay in touch, even though sometimes we may go for months at a time and not talk simply because of schedules and life.
 
I have watched Kristina and countless other women in Delta Gamma live by the open motto of Delta Gamma, which is "do good."  It's the words we are called to live by within the organization.  Whatever you do, do good.  I have watched them live by a higher standard and live according to higher expectations.  In one of the recent editions of Delta Gamma's magazine, ANCHORA, Kristina and others were featured in a story called "Helping Haiti."  It followed the lives of several DGs who had volunteered their time and service in the wake of Haiti's devastation.      

So I figured it would be appropriate to show a photo of one Lil Sis helping Africa with one Big Sis helping Haiti.  I brought that edition of the magazine with Kristina's photo and story with me to Africa with the intent to take this photo.  She is, in fact, down in Haiti right now continuing to work amidst the ruin and you can follow her blog here.

Hopefully we'll each continue to do good, wherever we end up.   

Eaten with a Fox or in a Box?

God bless teachers, especially of little ones.  I've learned that keeping track of these kids is like trying to herd cats, although I guess in this country it would be like trying to herd meerkats.  They have the attention span of a gnat, which drives me crazy sometimes but then I have to remember that they are four, not forty.  Mid-mornings are spent corraling the pre-K and kindergartners since they either aren't in school at all or are in school only half-day.  So Kate and I usually go down to the cottages around 10:30 and spend the mornings with the youngest ones in the village while the older ones are in school.   

I basically get the good end of the deal when it comes to spending time with the kids.   I get to play games with them, read books to them, find bugs, and then send them home at the end of the day.  Like in this picture above, Kilonzi and I were practicing a hand-clap game I had taught many of them.  Kilonzi is just about the cutest kid ever (although I guess we say that about every kid we meet) and is missing his two front teeth.  Some of the girls are obsessed with this hand-clap game and now want to play it every time they see me.  They start forming a line and then shove each other out of the way to get to me first.  It's cute, but then after awhile I just have to tell them we are done clapping hands!

Then sometimes we go looking for bugs.  I think we were rather fascinated by some weird looking green spider in this photo.  We constantly have to tell the kids, "Look, but don't touch."  They are always trying to get their hands all over everything - cameras, books, our clothes, my hair, and for some reason they are fascinated by my long nails - so we have to tell them just to look at things.  Well that phrase was short-lived, especially when it came to bugs.  They always want to flick or move them or crush them, then Michael just proceeded to squash the spider all together.  That was the end of looking at the spider.


So we moved on and attempted to spend some time reading.  Again, it's like herding cats.  We're encouraged to read to them out loud so that they can hear a native-English speaker and know better how to pronounce things but also how to add inflection in the appropriate places.  No 4-year old cares about that, as evidenced by the fact that they spend their story time sitting in a tire and are generally fascinated by what everyone else is doing rather than whether green eggs and ham should be eaten with a fox or be eaten in a box.

  
But then there are, of course, moments when I do have their attention even though they have no idea what they are doing or why they are doing it.  They are just excited to learn something new.  I don't think I need to explain the photo further.  :)

O-H!

The Wonderfully Stunning and Stoic Masai Mara

Alternative blog title:  "If There is a Road to Hell, I Have Found It."

Okay, so it wasn't that bad, but that is the exact thought that ran through my head for about 6 hours as we made our way down to the Masai Mara.  Kate and I left Nairobi around 9:00 a.m. Friday morning, heading out with a safari company based in town.  We traveled with two of Kate's friends who are native Kenyans and had met previously on a trip to Kenya.  Four girls about to find out just how much we love or hate bugs and cold showers and whether we think baby wildebeests are ugly or cute.

We climbed into the van, complete with a guide, a cook, a driver who also doubled as a guide, and another employee of the tour group.  Then we set off into the bottomless potholes of Africa.  We slowly began making our way out of Nairobi, heading south down to the Masai.  And let me just add a tangent note here - John Deere is alive and well in the heart of Kenya.  There was a great deal of wheat being harvested so it seemed nearly everywhere I looked there was a John Deere combine or tractor of some kind.  So for those of you who might be wondering if I'm homesick, you needn't fear.  I've got John Deere out my back door here so it's good.

But seriously - I know I talk about the roads a lot here but this time it wasn't just that the roads were bad, it was just the sheer longevity of being on those roads for so long.  I sketched out a cartoon in my head as we traveled and then later put it in my journal - I just kept imagining this van with everybody settled in their seats in the first block, bouncing along the road.  The next block shows the same van with a bumper falling off, then the tires, and then the doors, and by the time you get to the last block all you're left with are the passengers sitting in their seats sitting directly on the road, with no car parts around.  I swear the tires on these vans have to be made of steel to withstand these roads. If a car manufacturer ever wanted to road test their car, send it out to the back forty of Kenya.  You'll find out real quick how well your car will hold up.  If the car's nuts and bolts don't rattle loose, the driver's brains surely will.  You feel like a human bobble-head.

So after we spent however many hours heading down to the Mara, we finally made it to camp.  We unloaded out stuff into our huts (cottages? houses? tents? I'm not really surely how to define this structure) and headed out for a game drive.  The great wildebeest migration is currently happening which is one of the reasons why we wanted to go this weekend.  This is when hundreds of thousands, if not MILLIONS, of wildebeest migrate from the Serengeti up to the Mara.  Think Dances with Wolves, only the African version would be Dances with Wildebeests.  Just wildebeests as far as the eye can see, with a few zebra, impala, and gazelle thrown in for good measure.

You basically just drive around the park, following the prescribed paths and just see what you see.  There are, of course, dozens of other vehicles doing the exact same thing so sometimes you just see little white vans criss-crossing the vast plains.  And I do mean vast.  I suppose it's similar to what you find out in western America on our own plains - just tall grass for miles and miles and miles.  Gently rolling hills.  Trees and shrubs scattered about.  I remember thinking when we first started that it all seemed so ordinary, so common, and sometimes even ugly.  It's winter here so everything is pretty brown and sparse looking at times.  And let's be honest - a wildebeest is a wildebeest is a wildebeest.  You've seen one you've seen them all and within five minutes of getting in the gate of the park you've already seen thousands.  Same goes for gazelles, zebras, and other members of the menagerie.   

But then.

Then the sun began to set.

And this became the Africa of my dreams. 


The Africa I had painted a thousand times over in my head and taken a thousand photographs of in my mind's eye.  The Africa that seemed so unattainable and so far out reach for so long.  The Africa that I wrote about as a teenager when I was in the 7th grade.  The Africa that I longed for when I read books about Beryl Markham, Osa Johnson, Luci Swindoll, and Karen Blixen (some of my favorite adventure-loving women).  The Africa I almost reached out and touched my senior year of college.  This was the Africa I had long thought a pipe dream.   This was my Africa. 

And I was stunned.  

And captivated and captured. 

It was this really profound moment, when I felt like I had been caught up in a spell of sorts.  We had stopped the van momentarily and turned the engine off, just to watch the sun set in silence.  You can't see it in the picture, but in that general area there had been a lioness resting, enjoying the cool evening.  We waited and watched as the sun sank lower and lower and lower.  I was mesmerized.  Then the van started and I felt like I had been cruelly jerked out from under the spell.  It was almost disturbing the abruptness of the sound.  It was time to move on, unfortunately.

There was never a moment quite like that the rest of the weekend, but it all came close.  We saw four out of the Big 5 - the Big 5 being elephant, lion, leopard, cape buffalo, and rhino.  The only thing we didn't see was a leopard, which is pretty elusive and hard to spot anyway.  And of course the wildebeest - can't miss those. (Can we also have another side note?  Wildebeests are smart animals.  Why?  Because unlike deer in America, they get out of the way of 1-ton vehicles coming toward them.  My American White Tail friends, take note. Move when a hunk of metal is coming your way.)  Zebras, gazelle, hartebeest, jackals, giraffes, storks, vultures, cheetahs, ostrich, hippos, crocodiles, impalas - what am I missing?  I think that was about all we saw, which was still a lot.  While we caught most of the animals doing the mundane things of life, the common seems somehow less common when you see it in the bigger picture.  We saw a lioness eating.  We saw an ostrich watching over her nest of nearly thirty eggs.  We saw the carcasses of wildebeest that didn't survive the trek.  We smelled the carcasses of the wildebeest that didn't survive the trek (It's rank, trust me).  We saw a mother elephant with her baby.  We saw a lioness with her cub.  We saw a large male lion sleeping gently under the shrubs near the dry riverbed.  We saw cheetahs sleeping under the shade of the acacia.  We saw zebras giving each other a good scratch and sometimes a swift kick.  We saw hippos basking in the waters of the Mara River.  We saw crocodiles waiting for their next meal to come along.  We saw the vultures scavenge for dinner.  We saw life happening in its common and ordinary moments and I wouldn't have wanted to have missed it for anything.

 We wrapped up the safari this morning, but before we headed back we went out for one last drive, bright and early at 6:30 a.m.  It was our luck, though, that we caught a couple of sets of lions.  This lioness here was just perched on top of a rock, sleeping.  Off to the side of the brush then in a separate area was a large male lion also sleeping.  (I have photos but for some reason Blogger is not cooperating, but I may be able to get it up later.)  We saw another set of lions but with a baby cub as well.    It was a wonderful morning and a great way to wrap up the weekend.  

So maybe it seemed like the road to hell on the way down, but coming out it seemed a bit less so now that I had seen a glimpse of heaven on earth. 

Eat, Pray, Love

Last night when I had  dinner with the boys from Canaan cottage I was rather amused at what happens when their auntie gets up from the table.  Certainly the phrase when the cat is away, the mice come out to play was so true.  We had rice, scrambled eggs, and diced tomatoes (and I'm happy to report that I ate the entire bowl and I don't even like tomatoes - but I attribute that to the fact that it didn't contain beans so I was more apt to finish it all). Normally the kids are pretty reserved while eating meals - little conversation occurs.  But boy, once their auntie left the table, those boys started wheeling and dealing about who wanted their tomatoes and who didn't want their eggs, and who wanted more rice.

One little boy, Kilonzi, who is just in kindergarten and is missing his two front teeth, was just heaping his rice onto his neighbors' plates.  If the auntie had been paying attention, she would have noticed that half of his bowl was gone by the time she sat back down.  He just kept shoveling food onto other people's plates and they were happy to take it off his hands.  She left the table twice and both times, the boys would shove their plates across the table so that others could take what they wanted.  And then she would sit back down and they became good little mice again, minding their manners, and acting like nothing had happened.  I had to work at containing my smirk.

I was finally able to borrow Kate's (another volunteer here) computer so I could get a few more pictures up.  I'm glad she loves taking pictures because I just plain forget to take my camera to places or I just get lazy.  She's making up for my lacking and I'm so grateful. 

In this picture, several of us had to paint the main gate.  Somebody had crashed into it awhile back and it hadn't been repainted since the repairs.  Being that I love to paint, I was rather looking forward to the assignment.  But this is when the village director asked that I go to the market with her and get out of the village - also when I managed to motion sickness.  The painting project was short-lived for me. 

This is me with the boys from Beersheba cottage.  We had just finished dinner and managed to snap a few pictures before being shoo-ed out the door by one of their mamas.

Here I am with Daisy, a Rothschild giraffe at the Giraffe Center.  Kate managed to get a big, slimy kiss from Daisy but I said no thanks.  I've gotten enough kisses from horses in my lifetime.  I don't need any from giraffes.   

And then me having a very happy moment at Java House.  I just got my cheeseburger, fries, and vanilla milkshake.  This was after we had gone to the see the elephants and giraffes and were winding up the day before we headed back.  I had been yearning for some normalcy when it came to food and a cheeseburger, fries, and milkshake had never looked so glorious.  You can bet I ate every last greasy bite and thanked Jesus for each.

This weekend Kate and I are off to the  Masai Mara for a safari, which I am uber excited about.  We'll be gone for the weekend, heading out early Friday morning and coming back later Sunday night.  The really great thing about the timing of this trip is that it is during the great wildebeest migration.  It's pretty spectacular from what I've been told so here's hoping we encounter some stellar views of not just wildebeests, but hopefully some of the Big Five.  Mom and Dad, this is the point at which I said I would make no promises about possibly bringing home some extra luggage, which may very well come in the shape of a small furry lion cub.

Caterpillars and Elephants

I saved Johnson today.

It was a death-defying act, one I wasn't sure I would be able to successfully complete.  He kept screaming and yelling and I was trying to help him.

Caterpillars can do that to a kid, you know.  Johnson nearly turned wrong side out when he discovered a fuzzy caterpillar inching his way up the beam he was sitting upon.  So he instructed me to first move him farther down the beam, away from the caterpillar.  Then he proceeded to tell me that I needed to get a stick and move the caterpillar out into the brush.  I'm now taking directions from a 4-year old who is terrified of caterpillars.  He's not in hysterics by any stretch of the imagination, but it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that Johnson doesn't find caterpillars particularly warm and fuzzy and has no desire to keep one as a pet.  So I grabbed a stick and moved the caterpillar to a safe zone and Johnson went on his merry way.  I'm sure that is why God called me to Kenya - to save children from caterpillars.

I was just wishing someone would have saved me today at dinner when I sat down and found an entire bowl of beans waiting for me.  If you've read my previous posts, you know my sentiments.

But since we're talking about saving things, it is fitting then that this past weekend I went to the David Sheldrick Wildlife Trust over the weekend with my new friend, Kate, who is also here volunteering for a few weeks.  The Wildlife Trust serves as an elephant orphanage as well as a rhino shelter.  They currently have 18 baby elephants most of which have been saved from Tsavo National Park.  They only open the orphanage for one hour a day as they are very protective of the elephants' time and exposure to people as ultimately they will release them back into the wild.  They also have a blind rhino, Maxwell, that lives there permanently which basically means he's a couch potato.  We also went to the Giraffe Center, which is more of a breeding facility/program rather than an orphanage.  I found the sign amusing hanging outside the facility that had a  picture of a cartoon giraffe head-butting a person and said, "Beware - giraffes may head-butt you."  People are able to feed the giraffes at the center and apparently they get a little impatient when people take too long.  I love animals but I kept my distance from my long-necked friends.  I had no desire to kiss a giraffe or get a swift head-butt from one.  I'll just stand back and watch it happen to others and maybe take a few pictures. 

We also managed to make it out to the Masai Market, which as I mentioned in an e-mail to friends and family, it's basically an open-air tourist trap for foreigners who don't know how to say "no" and feel sorry the peddlers.  It's the typical trinket and souvenir stop and I got a kick out of the fact that some people tried to sell me some scarves and I looked at the tag and I wanted to tell them that these are the exact same scarves I bought in Russia, but thanks anyways for the line about these being made in Kenya.  I might be American but I don't have "stupid" written on my forehead.  But nevertheless, I bit my tongue and politely said no thanks and walked away.  Even though places like that put you on sensory overload, it's always a good experience to wander through the area and figure out what the best strategy for bartering is and just generally see what's for sale.  And then realize you probably could do without most of it.  I didn't walk away completely empty-handed though.  I managed to snag some jewelry and some fabric and hopefully we can make it back again to pick up a few more things.

As far as work wise, I've plowed through the to-do list and so now we're having to create other things for me to do.  One thing I am really excited about is the chance to work with a young boy named Elijah who is hard of hearing.  I've got a crush on this kid because he is just the sweetest thing and has got such a contagious laugh.  I'll be tutoring him every day, basically just helping him with reading skills and whatever other help he might need with his homework.  He knows limited ASL and some Kenyan Sign Language and can speak okay for the most part.  I'm just anxious to put my education to good use and to love on this kid in a practical way!  

I'm hoping to get more pictures up soon so be on the lookout!

Say hello to Benson

Say hello to one of my very favorite little boys, Benson.  You can't see it in this picture, but he has a ring of light blue pigment around the center of his eyes with dark brown centers.  It makes for some very striking and beautiful eyes.  He is the most precious thing - and ornery.  He can be a little troublemaker but all in all he is a sweet kid.  He just likes to give you a good shove every now and then when you're not paying attention to him and then he makes silly faces at you during devotions when you're supposed to be serious.   :)   

And this would be Johnson, Benson's partner in crime.  He seems to be glued to my hip at times but is a very reserved little boy until you get him to playing a game or just generally give him your undivided attention.  Then the smile comes out.  

Car Ride in Nairobi = Sick American

"Kot-ney, you are very quiet today.  Ah you alright?"

"Yes, I'm just concentrating really hard on keeping my lunch down."

Okay, so maybe that wasn't really my answer - I simply lied and said I'm fine.  But I sure was thinking that.  I haven't been beyond the four walls of the village since I arrived last Saturday, and so the village director, Yeen-Lan, asked I go with her to the market, which was just a few miles up the road.  I thought those few miles were going to kill me though.  The roads are atrocious in Nairobi, with potholes big enough to swallow a car it seems.  I barely made it past the gate and I could already tell I this was not going to end well.  Me, bumpy roads, and in a car equals a bad combination.  It was too late for Dramamine at this point.  After crossing several goat crossings and wondering how anybody drives in this country, we made it to the market.  Yeen-Lan was kind enough to let me sit in the front seat on the way back, which made it mildly better.  But by the time we made it back to the village, I just had to lay down for awhile and hope the room stopped spinning at some point.

But you can bet I didn't leave that store without first grabbing a Snickers, a bag of chips, chocolate muffins, and chocolate cookies.  Hey, something has got to redeem the ridiculous amount of beans I've been eating.  I think I've eaten more beans in the last 5 days than I have ever eaten in my entire life or will ever eat.  I'd rather eat rice for every meal than eat beans at any point.  While the African food has been an experience, and not all together a bad one, it doesn't change the fact that I have wanted pizza, mashed potatoes, and steak more than ever.  Take note, family - one of those items will be on the menu as soon as I get in the door. 

Apart from all of the adventures in food, I'm really wishing that the gecko that was in my shower and is now in my closet would go away and find a new home.  I don't particularly want to put clothes on one morning and find him there. 

Photo Album Riots

I thought I was going to start a riot today when I pulled out my photo album with pictures from home.  I had just a few kids with me at first, showing them and explaining each of the pictures and then it was like I became the Pied Piper and they all just started showing up.  I made the mistake of sitting on the ground while showing the pictures so I became like a jungle gym in a matter of minutes.  I thought I was going to suffocate under a pile of African children.  And not everybody would come to see them all at once, so kids would come in at different points in the album and each time, they would say, "Start over! Start over!  I missed the first part!"  I must have gone through that album at least half a dozen times.  After dinner, other children must have caught wind that I had photos and they would come up ask me to show them my photos.  I eventually just had to tell them no because I knew it was going to be an endless cycle and quite honestly, I was tired of repeating myself. 

After my photo album riot and some general playtime, I went to one of the cottages to have devotions with the children.  Here's how the village is set up, to give you some understanding.  There are 91 children here, with roughly ten cottages now, separated boys and girls, with nine or so kids in each.  Each cottage has a "mama," a single woman who is a native Kenyan who has made a sacrifice to live with and raise these children as her own.  She literally is their mother, it's not simply an 8-5 job.  She lives with them, eats with them, disciplines them, cares for them.  So at night, each cottage has their own devotional time, led by their mama.  Tonight I went to Joppa cottage for their devotional.  They generally sing a few songs and then the mama reads from the Bible and then discusses it for a bit, offering the kids some basic application.

Well, tonight I sat squeezed between David and Michael. I'm pretty sure if you put Michael in a furry suit with just his face sticking out, he would look like an Ewok from Star Wars, and I don't say that to be funny just that the kid is so stinking cute.  But poor David - the kid nearly had me in tears from both laughing and crying.  We started singing a song which I can't remember which and this kid just let loose.  I mean, he was belting it for all he was worth and I nearly started laughing out loud and had to work so hard at keeping it in.  He was just so oblivious to how loud he was singing.  But it was so beautiful and so precious.  And then I wanted to cry because hearing these kids sing about Jesus both in English and in Swahili was just one of the sweetest and most sincere sounds.  They sang with a heart that was genuine, even at 3 or 4 years old.  The mama asked me at the end to share with them anything I had on my heart and I just had to tell them how grateful I was to be with them and to hear their beautiful voices.  And I genuinely meant it.

In other news - be praying for the country as a whole right now.  Kenya will be voting on a new constitution tomorrow.  I've only a limited understanding of what it means, but from what I've been told the current president promised the country would have a new constituion within his first 100 days in office.  That was 7 years ago.  There is division, no doubt, as to who is for and who is against.  But it will carry hefty implications depending on the outcome. 

The Secrets of Children

I'll interrupt this broadcast for a brief story:

So tonight at dinner, I totally thought this kid was being a champ by hiding his food in his milk cup.  They served this stuff called oo-gall-ee (I have no idea how it's actually spelled), which basically amounts to this weird flour/mashed potato like consistency, but packed hard, with zero flavor.  I was watching him out of the corner my eye and I saw him take a few spoonfuls, look around, and then dump it in his milk cup.  I thought, "You are my hero because that is totally what I want to do right now."  So I tried to discreetly keep watching him and every once and awhile he would add more.  I was super excited that the kid had the nerve to get away with it because they are instructed to eat every last bite, but here was somebody getting away with not doing it!  But then my happiness in watching this unfold was crushed when I watched him dump it back onto his plate and finish eating it all.  Maybe that will be my tactic for the next time I go to dinner and either can't eat it all or don't want to eat it.   

If I were a pioneer...

My grandmother and I had a discussion the other day while we husked nearly 9 dozen ears of corn that neither of us would have made good pioneers.  I'm pretty sure my oxen would have died while fording the river, my family would have gotten typhoid, and I would have said "this is crazy, I'm going home."  And I would have chucked the skirts in the process and invented denim jeans.  While life in Africa has been good so far - the whole three days that I've been here - I already want to spend my days in a pair of jeans and a hoodie sweatshirt rather than a skirt.  But you know, I guess we're just going to have to deal.

But anyway - so what's the latest?  Well, in case anyone was wondering 3 o'clock in the morning in Kenya looks the same as it does in America.  Not a single difference.  It's a ridiculous hour either way.  I experienced it last night for the second night in a row as my body tries valiantly to adjust to the time difference.  We're not succeeding so far.  I was up from about midnight to 4 a.m., asking myself whether I should eat my last oatmeal chocolate chip cookie or save it for later when I'm really desperate. I chose to eat it.  And then I picked up Lord of the Rings - Return of the King.  It's the only book I brought and I figured it's better than staring at my mosquito net for the next three hours and wondering what the heck is making that ridiculous noise outside my window.  I eventually fell asleep and when I woke up at 7 I felt like I had been run over by a Mack truck.  But the show must go on.   

Today was the first official day of working with the staff.  We have staff devotions every morning at 7:15 - this consists of the village director, who is a wonderful lady by the way, two of the other full-time staff, and several of the nationals who work for Rafiki as maintenance, kitchen, and laundry staff.  We sing through a few hymns, then the director gives the morning devotion.  They have been studying the book of Nehemiah so this morning we ended up in chapter 10.  After that we break up into men's and women's groups and pray.  The Africans pray so sincerely and with such depth, it almost caught me by surprise.  I think in America it's easy for our prayers to become commonplace, every day life is so ordinary we forget just what a big deal it is to be living every day, and living every day with a God who is very real, very personal, and very near.

The rest of the day I spent with the new ChildCare Program Director, who has just moved from the village in Rwanda with her husband.  The exciting thing about Kenya right now is that Rafiki is trying to put some major pieces of the puzzle together in terms of developing the Kenyan village as the model village and the model school in Kenya.  Thus why they have some new staff coming as they will be key players in establishing this vision.  We spent the day inventorying supplies, both in her office and in the storage room, trying to figure out what needs to stay, what needs to go, and what just has a big ol' question mark next to it.

It's been a long day, but good - very satisfying.  The kind of day when you know when you get to sleep that night (if sleep should ever come in my case) that it will be the result of a hard day's work.  We'll spend the evening having dinner with the kids and generally hanging out with them, and likely ending the evening being pyrotechnics as we just have some trash we need to burn.  Hopefully I won't see 3 a.m. tonight.

Waiting and Watching

There is no other way to say it other than to state the obvious - these kids are putting me to shame!  Whether it's eating or running around or whatever it is we are doing, they are out-eating me (which, let's be honest, isn't hard to do), out-running me, and just generally out-smiling me (also not hard to do, as some people tend to think I have a perpetual frown on my face).

Most evenings after dinner, the kids have a general free time to play games and run around.  I went out last night with them after dinner to play - I really had no idea how to begin because there were dozens of screaming kids running everywhere and I stood there looking like the typical lost American in a foreign country.  I'm really intimidated by kids anyways so the fear alone of diving into these kids lives is enough to paralyze me fairly often.  But then I thought, "You know, you've only got one shot at this, Courtney - thirty days to soak this up and to be a part of their lives.  So you better figure out a way to deal - and fast."    So somehow or another, I worked up the gumption to waltz into a game of tag.  Okay, waltzing probably isn't the best word.  Clearly, we're running at this point.

And then it was like I couldn't get enough.  Tag morphed into Red Rover, which morphed into Red Light/Green Light, which morphed into London Bridges, which morphed into general exhaustion.  I'm out of shape as it is (anybody who spends a fair amount of time with me knows of my aversion to physical exercise) and being up nearly 5,000 feet in elevation makes the breathing even harder.  So we had barely begun and I was already out of breath and so I squatted down for a second and all of the kids swarmed around me in a circle.  I had my chin propped up on my hands and then they all started mimicking me and laughing, each of them squatting down and doing the same thing - all with the biggest smiles pasted on their faces, knowing full well they were making fun of me.  Then I jumped up and scared the living daylights out of them and they scattered to the four winds.

When I originally went out to play, I still had my skirt and slip-on shoes.  That definitely doesn't work when you are trying to catch a bunch of screaming kids.  So I told them to hold on a few minutes and I'll go change.  The cottage that I'm staying in was across from the basketball court where we were playing, with a few shrubs and trees in between.  When I walked back out of the cottage, I could see this line of little heads peeking out from behind trees and bushes.  They were waiting for me, and watching.  Nearly made me want to cry my eyes out right there.

And in terms out out-eating me.  Good grief, I've got half a bowl of food left and they managed to wolf down an entire bowl and then some.  Some of these kids are pint-size and can barely reach the top of the table, but they've got spoons the size of their hands and can't shovel fast enough.  The first few meals have been slightly awkward in the fact that I'm still picking up on some social cues.  Cue #1 - don't talk while eating.  The kids would be asking all sorts of questions before the meal - "How did you get here?"  "How many planes did you take?"  "Where are you from?"  "How long will you be here?"  And then the food would be set out and it's like they all became mute.  And then they would eat in silence and as soon as plates are cleared, "Where are you going now?"  "Are you going to come play with us?"

All in all, so far so good.  The plan is to help with administrative tasks while I'm here.  There is a new long-term couple that just moved here from Rwanda and the wife is the childcare director, so she definitely needs help getting settled and sorting through papers that she has inherited.  I'll be working with her primarily and then pick up other duties as they come up.  I know this trip isn't all about fun and games and at the end of it, I'll be gone but these kids are still here in Africa and there is a life here that they still have to deal with.