Single Today

I really appreciated this quote that my sweet friend Emily sent my way from a book she is currently reading:

"Ultimately we are single because that's God's will for us right now.  That's it.  It's not because we are too old, too fat, too skinny, too tall, too short, too quiet, too loud, too smart, too simple, too demanding, or too anything else.  It's not wholly because of past failures or sin tendencies.  It's not because we're of one race when many of the men around us are of another.  It's not because the men we know lean toward passive temperaments.  It's not because there are more women than men in our singles group.  It's not because our church doesn't even have a singles group.  Though perhaps these all feel like valid reasons, they don't trump God's will.  One look at the marriages we know or the announcements in the newspaper will assure us that these factors are present in many people's lives and they still got married.  We are single today because God apportioned us this gift today." 

- Carolyn McCulley

Taking Bets

"All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible. This I did."  - T.E. Lawrence

I'd say year 25 was all about crossing a few things off the bucket list and crossing off a few things that were never on the bucket list to begin with.  I've been thinking a lot about what has happened in the last year, expected things, unexpected things, but always an adventure.  It was all about being a dreamer of the day, acting on dreams with open eyes.  This I did. 

I've always had it on my bucket list to own a Great Dane.  Well, that didn't happen but I did get to meet Tucker the Great Dane.  That will have to suffice for now since I don't foresee owning 80 acres anytime soon to accommodate owning such an animal.  My dad thinks I should just skip the Great Dane and buy a horse.   It's the same thing to him.

And then I got to watch one of my very best friends marry the Future Husband she had written about for years and in the process I got to meet one of my favorite authors at her wedding.  It was sweet to watch Erica throughout this process, seeing the crazy days, the good days, and the days when she would e-mail me in a panic about how to insert an anchor JPEG into her invitation.  I always love being a part of people's weddings and this was the year for quite a few.  I also got to see Steph get married, and numerous other friends have since gotten engaged.  I celebrate with them in those moments.

I welcomed a new niece into the world, which wasn't so much on the bucket list (like I have control over that) as it was just a fitting moment in life.  I sold some of my paintings (Thank you, Debbie S., for supporting the arts and my then-grocery budget).  I read a grand total of 45 books since last October.  That's not one of my life's aims, but I started keeping a log a year ago May of every book I have since read and I went over my list last night just to jog my memory on some of my favorites that I had read in the past year.  I capped off year 25 by finishing up Susan Casey's The Wave, which was a fantastic read.  I am now fascinated by all things surfing.  I just have no desire to add to my list "surf the world's biggest wave."  But maybe I'll add to the list "sit on the beach in Hawaii and watch someone else surf big waves." 

After that was a trip I had dreamed about since I was a kid.  Africa.  I don't need to elaborate on this one I think since I chronicled so much of that adventure on here.  But that trip was so worth it.  Even this morning, I woke up missing those kids, in particular, little David.  For some reason his sweet face popped into my head and I got a little sad about not being able to see him anytime soon.  But I know I'll go back some day.  I don't know when that will be, but I'm determined to make it happen.                                                                     

In between, I finished my MBA.  That was one of those things that wasn't on the list.  I had no intention of ever going to grad school, but away we went.  I got to laughing the other day because I pulled out my notebook where I write down the list of things I want to do in my lifetime.  I had on there "graduate from high school" and "graduate from college."  Check and check.  Just didn't have on there anything about grad school.  So that was a bonus for the year.   

 But I guess I couldn't have picked a better way to end year 25 when my brother told me he bought me tickets to the Ohio State vs. Indiana game this past weekend. I know, I know.  I had felt like I was committing some kind of crime by having lived in Ohio all my life and having never been to an OSU game at The 'Shoe.  I was waiting for the police to show up on my doorstep.  I loved everything about the game, about the traditions, about the stadium, about the Skull session, even the crazy Indiana fan sitting next to us who I thought was going to burst a blood vessel.  To top it off, it was Jim Tressel's 100th win. (Thank you, South Carolina, for bringing down Alabama - that certainly helped to catapult OSU to #1 in the country.)

So, yeah, year 25 was pretty great.  But I'm taking bets that year 26 will be better.  God has shown him faithful in numerous ways, both big and small.  And it's not to say that the best years are always sunshine and roses, for they are surely tempered with a few storms.  But I don't ever want to be the kind of person that says the best years of my life are behind me.  I think I'll tackle "own a hammock" and "spend a week or two on a dude ranch" for this year.  And who knows what will be unexpectedly added to the list. 

Why Can't They Last?

There are some stories I don't ever want to end.  I felt that way about Lord of the Rings.  I felt that way about A Severe Mercy and Seabiscuit.  I almost felt that way about the Twilight Saga until one of the characters started drinking blood to keep her half-vampire baby alive in her womb.  In fact, I get rather annoyed when some of my favorite stories end.  There's just such a sense of let-down.  I feel this sense of dread as I near the final page because I know it's all about to be over and I can't do a thing about it.  Most of the stories that I feel this way about are the ones that are so epic in nature - the ones that captive both the mind and the heart, the ones that elevate you beyond where you presently are.

I just put down Secretariat:  The Making of a Champion  by William Nack and I nearly wanted to cry when I finished it because it's just such a beautiful and inspiring story and I was so sad it came to a close.  I know, I know.  It's just a horse.  I get it.  Just like the Michigan-Ohio State game is just another football game and Mother Theresa is just another woman.  But to anybody who watches that kind of history unfold knows it's never just another horse race and it's never just another horse.  I wanted to stand up and cheer just reading the darn thing.  I wanted to yell along with everyone else when Secretariat set blistering records in each of his Triple Crown races.  I mean, good grief, the horse ran each eighth of the Kentucky Derby successively faster and faster, which is just mind boggling because the times should get successively slower, not faster.  He won the Belmont by a stunning 31 lengths.  The horse was a maniac. 

When he died - 21 years ago tomorrow - they did an autopsy on him and found that his heart was twice as big as a normal thoroughbred, which meant he could pump far more oxygen into his bloodstream, giving him a competitive edge that other breeders could only dream of developing in their horses.  His offspring weren't much to brag about, with only a few garnering serious accolades - none would come close to accomplishing what their daddy had. 

But I guess the really great stories have to come to an end sometime.  At least until another comes along.



"Do you give the horse his strength or clothe his neck with a flowing mane?  Do you make him leap like a locust, striking terror with his proud snorting? He paws fiercely, rejoicing in his strength, and charges into the fray. He laughs at fear, afraid of nothing; he does not shy away from the sword. The quiver rattles against his side, along with the flashing spear and lance. In frenzied excitement he eats up the ground; he cannot stand still when the trumpet sounds. At the blast of the trumpet he snorts, 'Aha!'  He catches the scent of battle from afar, the shout of commanders and the battle cry."
- portion of Job 39