It's Time

Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and your dominion endures through all generations. The Lord is trustworthy in all he promises and faithful in all he does. The Lord upholds all who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down.  The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food at the proper time.  You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing. - Psalm 145:13-16

I often wondered if this season of life would ever end.  In the deepest places of the valley, I wondered, "What if it never ends? What if it's always like this?" What if panic never leaves? What if anxiety always haunts me? What if I have to live with my parents forever? (That was always the real question.) Just like David in Psalm 13:1, I lifted up my eyes and asked so often of the heavens, "How long, O LORD?" 

What I have learned in this season of life, maybe now more than ever, is the answer to that question is simply when it's the proper time. It's not when I say it's time, and it's not when someone else says it's time.  It's not when I've decided I've had enough and when I'm ready to move on.  God, in his perfect sovereignty, ordains the proper time. He opens his hand and satisfies he desires of every living thing - at the proper time. And not a moment before then.

I'd like to believe this season of life has at last come to a close and that God in his infinite wisdom has finally declared, "It's time."  In what proved to be one of the most difficult seasons of my life, when it felt like everything I had ever known to be true about myself and about God was rattled to the core, I can stand on the other side of it and say I am grateful.  I am not grateful for the pain and suffering in and of itself.  I pray to God I never go through another panic attack again in my life.  But I am grateful for what it has produced in me - a deeper dependence on him, a deeper appreciation for people and how much I need them, a deeper affection for God's Word.

In a matter of months, I have changed jobs, left my church of nearly 12 years, moved into my own place, said goodbye to some old friends and said hello to some new ones.  In each of those instances, God made clear, "It's time."  It's time to change jobs.  It's time to part ways with my church.  It's time to move out.  It's time to let go of that friendship.  It's time to say 'yes' to that friendship.

It's simply time.      

Just like the words in Ecclesiastes 3, I've become acutely aware of how there is a time for everything. A time to plant and a time to uproot.  A time to tear down and a time to build.  A time to weep and a time to laugh.  A time to mourn and a time to dance. A time to scatter stones and a time to gather them. A time to keep and a time to throw away. There are seasons to everything.

There's been a lot of uprooting recently in my life, but now it's time to plant.  There's been a lot of tearing down, but now it's time to build.  There's been a lot of weeping, but now it's time to laugh.  There's been a lot of mourning, but now it's time to dance.  There's been a lot of scattering, but now it's time to gather.

God knows just what I need - and he knows just what you need.  He'll provide it at the proper time.  He won't be too early.  He won't be too late.  He won't be rushed and he won't delay.  He's faithful to "make everything beautiful in its time" (Ecclesiastes 3:11).

Trust his heart and trust his timing.

"Because God is Almighty, we have been set free from thinking that we need to manipulate circumstances, maneuver people, manufacture resources, or move ahead of God in order to bring to pass what He has for our lives. God has everything to see to it that it is done. He will do it perfectly, in the perfect way, at the perfect time. When we let Him bring to us what He has for us, we can receive it freely and enjoy it fully." - Roy Lessin