The Most Awkward and Desperate Folk

"There are pictures of the people in my family where we look like the most awkward and desperate folk you ever saw, poster children for the human condition. But I like that, when who we are shows. Everything is usually so masked or perfumed or disguised in the world, and it's so touching when you get to see something real and human. I think that's why most of us stay close to our families, no matter how neurotic the members, how deeply annoying or dull - because when people have seen you at your worst, you don't have to put on the mask as much." - Anne Lamott, Traveling Mercies

I dearly love Anne Lamott's book Traveling Mercies. Full of such richness and completely irreverent hilarity. I laughed out loud on more than one occasion. But I remember when I read the above quote from the book, years ago. There is one particular family photo that immediately popped into my mind. We are all piled on my parents' porch - aunts, uncles, parents, cousins, grandparents, grandbabies - everybody piled up, standing next to one another, hanging over the railing. Kids are screaming. The dog is distracted. Somebody looks less than thrilled to be there. Parents are smiling through gritted teeth. A few bachelor uncles are clearly humoring the rest of the family by engaging in this family photo. The grandparents are sitting perched front and center on a bench, looking serene as can be, as though the world is not unfolding around them.

The most awkward and desperate folk, poster children for the human condition.

And they are mine. It's why I stay close. And maybe they are all a little neurotic, but who isn't? We've seen each other at our worst, though. So, we'll fight through the awkwardness and desperation because what else do we know? And who else is there to be awkward and desperate with but our own families?

I was reminded of Anne's sentiments on family this past weekend at my cousin's wedding. I'm learning that no wedding is complete without a photo booth. I love these things.

Because sometimes we need to laugh and lean in close to the chaos next to us in the form of human flesh.

I present to you my awkward and desperate family in color. And maybe what we find in these photos is actually the truest versions of ourselves, the versions that don't care. The versions that often have our eyes closed. The versions that are often looking the other way. The versions with the quirked eyebrow. The versions that are imperfect and anything but photo-shopped. The best versions.        

My sweet grandmother, front and center, and a few of my cousins plus one uncle.
We told my grandmother we would all have props in this photo.
And then at the last second we hid all of our props, leaving her all alone. 

The same menagerie, minus my grandmother and plus my mother.

My cousin and I

My niece and I

Just the cousins

My mom, my niece and I