My Brain is Fried

I knew I was in a trouble a couple of weeks ago when I had this overwhelming and horrifying urge to go for a run.  

I hate running.

But my job has nearly done me in here in recent weeks and a few days in particular were just sending me over the edge.  I had gobs of pent up energy and emotions and they were the kind that were demanding either a punching bag or a stiff drink.  I had neither, which is why the thought of running occurred to me.  I never did go for a run, but I think the shock of that thought occurring to me was enough of a kick in the pants to say to myself pull.it.together.  

So, in light of the fact that I have spent all of my brain power trying to recover from the previous weeks, this is one of those mindless posts that reflects the seemingly trivial moments of life because I am just plumb out of profound thoughts for the moment.  But these seemingly trivial moments have been my saving graces in the past few weeks.  

So, up first - in case you missed it, Ohio State won the national championship.  Turns out when you win a national championship, you celebrate by inviting 45,000 of your closest friends and family over to your house, hire a band, light off some fireworks and generally have a party.  I participated by showing my true spirit and freezing my toes off outside in 30-something degree weather for almost 4 hours.  This was my view from inside The 'Shoe.  Go Bucks.  

    

And this shirt.  Oh my goodness. It's my new favorite shirt.  I bought it for $8 at Aeropostale and it reflects my most-repeated phrase recently in life.  It's probably slightly out of character for me as I really am not prone to uttering this phrase very often, but I walked away from the shirt one week and regretted not buying it, just for the sake of a laugh; so, I went back another week and splurged.      

Rock climbing.  I hadn't ever tried it before, but I thought I would give it a whirl while on an outing with the women from the CATCH program.  (I know, Alex - how long have you and Jed been trying to convince me?!  I'm sorry the first time I went, I went without you!)  I made it all the way to the top and proudly sounded the alarm.  And then I was uncertain as to how to get back down.  

I think this waterfall is my new hiding place in the city.  Even when it's freezing outside.  I fully plan on going here more often when the weather is nicer.  I went here last week when I felt like escaping for awhile.  

In the wake of a particularly few disastrous days at work (at least they seemed that way at the time), I escaped to southern Ohio and visited my brother and his family down near Cincinnati.  I took my niece out to Ikea (her first visit there) and then we went to Jungle Jim's, which is this international grocery store that is a bit of a novelty in the area.  When I turned the corner and discovered they had a smashed penny machine I nearly did a happy dance.  Elvis was looking down on me with pride.    

So, when I recover from the mental onslaught that has recently occurred, I will do my best to return to our regularly scheduled programming.  It just might be awhile, though.

2014: (Belated) Year in Review

I know, we're already 5 days into the new year. This is probably a post I should have done a couple of weeks ago, but I was generally enjoying having two weeks off from work and forgetting that I had a job or any other type of adult-like responsibilities.

The end of one year and the beginning of another always brings about reflection.  Year-end reviews.  Annual reports.  Top 50 countdowns.  Top 10 countdowns.  A look back at the year. The usual lists and posts.  All of which are good and worthwhile, because it requires us to pause and take stock.

I've spent the last couple of weeks thumbing through my journals (something I love to do on a regular basis, end-of-year or not).  I wanted to see what all had happened in the course of the year, in my own words.  I give you a recap of my 2014, month-by-month, according to the things I had jotted down in my personal journals:

January: I spent this month wrestling with my past.  Thank you, www.desiringgod.org for this brilliant blog post that unlocked a host of doors for me.

February: Wrestling with my past precipitated saying yes to New Caledonia.  I was officially accepted to go on February 25.

March: I kissed make-up goodbye for 40 days of Lent.  Wow.  Did this ever turn some things around in my head about my insecurities.  I went for 40 days with not a stitch of make-up.  I realize for some women this is not a big deal, but this was significant for me and brought a whole host a freedom in the aftermath.

April: I experienced the worst physical pain of my life in this month.  I mean, really.  It was awful.  I hope to never experience it again.  And I had to put my pony down.  Double whammy.  Also don't want to experience that again.

May:  I was offered a promotion and I took it. (I am now questioning my sanity.)

June: I started volunteering with an organization called Freedom a la Cart. It's been messing with all sorts of nooks and crannies of my heart, in the best way possible.

July: I jetted my way across the globe to New Caledonia for two weeks with Jesus Film Mission Trips and I watched God work a miracle in me.       

August: I checked a whole host of things off the bucket list, including going to New Zealand, visiting Hobbiton and going horseback riding on the beach.  An early 30th birthday gift to myself.  So worth it. 

September: I moved out of my parents' house and into my own apartment.  Right thing at the right time in the right location.  (And I had vowed I would not turn 30 and still be living at home with my parents.  Nothing like making it happen a month before that deadline arrives.)

October: I turned 30.  That alone is enough.

November: This was a month spent learning to live with ambiguity and uncertainty, being patient and trusting and begging God to not send me up from here (wherever here is) unless he goes with me.

December: Waiting.  A whole lot of time spent thinking about waiting, in all areas of my life.  Louie Giglio's Advent sermon from 2013 called "Waiting Here For You" marked so many thoughts.

So, there it is - 2014.  Another year gone by yet again.

And as I look toward 2015, I recently wrote down in one of my journal entries:

"As much as I am terrified to pray it, I want whatever gets me more of You in 2015."

Check back in a year and I'll let you know if I got more of Jesus.  I'm positive the answer will be yes.

Because Jesus is always willing to give us more of Him.