Pep Talks

"You can do this, Courtney.  You've done this before, you can do it again.  Just like last time.  You didn't die from it the first time around, you won't die this time.  Just keep going, just keep going, just keep going..."

I think I should hit the motivational speakers' circuit after this trip because I am becoming the master at pep talks.  They usually last about an hour - the thirty minutes leading up to dinner and the thirty minutes during dinner. 

I know, I know.  I'm beating a dead horse.  Anybody who was with me on my last trip is well aware of my intense dislike for some of the meal options here - particularly anything involving beans. It is no exaggeration when I speak of how much I dislike them.  I nearly want to break out in a sweat or in hives whenever I find out beans is on the menu for the next meal. But because I am in Kenya, I try my best to make the most of these life experiences.  Allow me to impart a few words of wisdom to any of you who wish to come to strike out on your own adventure to Kenya some day:

1) Don't breathe while you eat.  That may not sound like a good plan, but I assure you it is.  Because if you don't breathe, you don't allow your brain to register the fact that what you're eating is something you wouldn't be having otherwise. And if you just keep shoveling, then you don't give your brain a chance to catch up with your stomach.  So, by the time you're physically done eating, your brain finally decides to kick in and bring things to a halt.  Magic!

2) Ration all parts accordingly.  If you have ugali (think grits in a fairly hard play-doh form.  I know, right? I've made the same facial expression you probably just made countless times), sukuma wiki (think boiled kale) and roasted chicken, then you must eat them all in equal parts.  One bite equals one part ugali, one part sukuma wiki, one part chicken.  Think of it like milk and cereal in the morning - you have to end up with the same amount of milk as cereal.  If you have too much milk, add cereal.  Too much cereal, add milk.  Same concept.  Only in this instance, you get really desperate to have them all come out equally because you do NOT want to be left with just ugali and sukuma.  That chicken is the only thing holding you back from losing your dinner all together. You better be scraping that meat off the bones.

3) Don't overthink it.  Don't consider what you're eating.  This part is hardest for me. And it's usually where the pep talk comes in.

4)  Pack 4 boxes of Cheez-Its, one for each week you're here, 2 boxes of granola bars and 4 small snack bags of trail mix to compensate.  You think I'm joking.   But I'm not. 

So, while I'm busy raking in the money from the speakers' circuit on how to survive and thrive in Kenya, I'll be sure to offer cans of beans as parting gifts to all of my attendees.  Just my way of saying "good luck."  Shoot, I'll even wrap it and put a bow on it.  No returns, exchanges or refunds accepted. ;)