MIA

I know, I've been a little MIA.  I apologize.  A lot has been happening since I last wrote:

I worked ten days straight, not thinking I should take a vacation day somewhere in there after the training I was coordinating.  I made a note to myself for next year's training: take the Monday off after training.

My best friend, Alex, got married.  Most amazing wedding ceremony ever. Loved everything about it.

I watched my other friend, Jenna, walk down the aisle via Skype.  I couldn't be in two places at once and her wedding was in Tulsa one day after Alex's so I had to resort to technology in order to witness the occasion.

I got sick with a sinus infection for the umpteenth time this year. Pesky things.  I slept so much I thought somebody had given me a tranquilizer dart.  

I went to a Ben Rector concert last week in Cincinnati which was stellar.  This was a rather spontaneous decision made the day before the concert.  Matt Wertz and Chris Tomlin are later this week.  Three concerts in 8 days.  And I don't even like concerts normally.

My car turned over 100,000 miles.  The doors didn't fall off, alarms didn't sound, the tires didn't go flat nor did all the bolts come flying off when I hit that magical number.  This baby is fully paid for so I intend on running it into the ground before I ever see the likes of another vehicle, and God help me - I don't ever want to see another car payment again in my life.  If I can't pay cash for it then I guess I better be finding me a camel to rent to get to work.

I paid off my student loan - which means I am officially debt free!  Dave Ramsey would be proud.

I celebrated my birthday.  I preferred to skim over it and started planning my own birthday party for next year when I hit a big one.  Current plans include Vancouver, Alaska, or Ireland.  I am open to other suggestions.

I have been inundated with new music, including the new Civil Wars album.  I am obsessed with the song "Dust to Dust" and "Eavesdrop."  I also have the new albums from Matt Wertz, Ben Rector, Shane and Shane, Bethel Music and Tyrone Wells.

I have been considering chopping off my hair.  Like Anne Hathaway, post-Les Mis short.  That is if I don't chicken out.  I'm itching for change.  And since moving to another city or finding another job just isn't very practical at the moment, I am simply aiming for a new hairstyle.

Those are the cliff notes.  When I come up for air again, you'll be the first to know.   

Letter to Lillian

A little over a year ago I was in the Westgate Mall in Nairobi .  I remember eating lunch at the Artcaffe, one of my very favorite cafes in Nairobi.  I went there after church with one of the missionary couples on staff with Rafiki.  I remember being in the Nakumatt grocery store.  I remember thinking this was probably one of the nicest malls I've ever been in - Kenyan, American or otherwise.  I remember thinking what a startling contrast this mall was to the rest of Kenya, all pristine and modern, while you walked out the door and down the road and found tin roof shacks and red clay roads.   

And now it's a war zone, the focal point of the world. 

When I first saw the headlines this past Saturday morning, I was in the middle of a work event I was coordinating.  I was scrolling through the list on my phone when I saw a headline that simply indicated a mall in Nairobi had been attacked.  I began to frantically scroll through the article, searching for which mall, knowing that there were ones frequented by the Rafiki staff, wondering if I knew anybody involved and wondering if they were safe.  It wasn't until I got to the very bottom that it finally said Westgate. 

And it's that striking moment when you realize, "I was right there..."  I can see the stores in my head and I can see the Kenyan people enjoying the bakery and I can see the security at the entrance and I can see the neatly polished floors and I can smell the freshly roasted coffee.

If I were there now I would see shattered windows, blackened walls from grenades exploding, faces hiding, trembling in the shadows and mad men on a mission to destroy.  

I want to grieve and I want to get angry all at the same time.  Because it's just such utter nonsense and pure evil.  

And on the heels of the attack, I get a sweet letter today in the mail from Lillian, the little girl I sponsor in Kenya.  And I found the contrasts overwhelming, just like when I stood in the Westgate Mall and marveled at the disparity of what I was looking at versus what I knew existed just beyond its walls.  And here in light of watching this attack unfold, I get this precious letter from an equally precious little child.  

How do I reconcile that?  How do I reconcile a world so full of hate and outright evil with love notes from a young orphan child who thanks me for sending her a postcard with a polar bear on it?  Because when I put the two side-by-side, I just think, "How? How do we go from arms flung wide and praying blessings over lives to grenades in hand and raining down curses on humanity? How?"

I want to write back to little Lilian.  I want to write her a long letter, one full of things she simply cannot understand at such a tender age.  Full of things even I don't understand.  

I want to tell her that Satan is real and he has an agenda.

I want to tell her that his number one goal is to end her life and the lives of others - spiritually and physically.  Jesus said it himself in John 8:44, "He was a murderer from the beginning."  

I want to tell her that Satan will stop at nothing to destroy lives, destroy homes, destroy governments, destroy creation, destroy marriages, destroy relationships.  It's all fair game and he's playing for keeps.

I want to tell her that we are most certainly waging war, but not against this flesh and not against another country and not against another people group and not against another government.  We are waging war "against the rulers, against the authorities, against the spiritual forces of evil..." (Ephesians 6:12)

But what I really want to tell her is this - 

Don't lose hope, dear one.  Don't lose hope.  

Don't drown in the sadness and don't drown in the depravity of this great big mess called humanity.  Hold tight to Jesus Christ, the one who firmly claims that he will swallow up death forever (Isaiah 25:8).  

He will claim victory. He will defeat Satan.  And this world will be a passing memory.  "You will have trouble in this world.  But take heart! I have overcome the world."  (John 16:33)

Take heart, little Lilian!  Jesus Christ, the Lamb slain before the foundation of the world, has overcome the world.  

Take heart. 

Accidental Worship Heresy

I laughed so hard I cried when I read these the other day.  My brother sent me a text with the web link and I made the mistake of reading it while I was at work.  A mistake mainly because I was laughing so hard I was nearly making a fool of myself.  Thankfully everybody else in the office seemed engrossed in their own work while I was too busy crying a river over these lines.  It's a repost from a church in Texas called The Village Church.  Read and enjoy.

http://www.thevillagechurch.net/the-village-blog/accidental-worship-heresy/

In January of 2012, I sat down with a group of worship pastors over dinner, and we told stories of moments where our hearts wanted to say or sing one thing but our lips delivered a different message—we committed worship heresy.

Like that time I introduced the lyric, “O hell, where is your sting?” by shouting “O HELL!” into the microphone at the top of my lungs. And word jumble moments, like the time I prayed, “Father, thank You for dying on the cross.” Or the time I enthusiastically shouted, “Jesus stayed in that grave! AMEN?!”

We laughed so hard that night, and it occurred to us that we were probably not alone. So I took to Twitter and posed the question, “Anyone have any accidental heresy examples to share? #worshipheresy.” You will see their responses below. Usernames have been left off on purpose—I’d like these people to continue doing their jobs. I hope you enjoy these.

Michael Bleecker
Flower Mound Worship Pastor

 "Take my LIPS and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee" #worshipheresy. I'm a dang good kisser now though.

Misquoted Col. 3:16 as, "psalms, hymns and spiritual thongs" while officiating one of my best friend’s wedding.

"To the God of treachery, all glory be, to the One who gave it all..."

I sang, "He cr*ps himself with light" during How Great is Our God. Mixed “wraps” and “crowns.” #worshipheresy

I sang, "I see a generation rising up to take their place with selfish faith."

"The weight of all of Your shame, released when You came and gave up my life." #worshipheresy

"Jesus, we thank You that the tomb is not empty."

"Father, we thank You for rising from the dead."

"Not because of what You've done, but because of who I am."

"I thy great father and thou my true son," during Be Thou My Vision. #worshipheresy

"I'd rather have silver than Jesus or gold." #worshipheresy

I don't think it counts, but I when sang "Never Let Go" by Matt Redman, I missed an entire verse and chorus by sneezing.

I picked soft music for a corporate prayer time that I later found out was the theme to “The Exorcist.”

"Jesus lay prostate on the ground." #worshipheresy

“You are wonderful. And you're never to be trusted." Supposed to be, "and you're never to be faulted."

During Give Us Clean Hands I sang, “We turn our eyes TO evil things.” #worshipheresy

"He is jealous for me, floats like a butterfly, stings like a bee." #worshipheresy

I once asked a congregation to "Stand and worship us," rather than "Stand and worship with us." #worshipheresy

I mixed up the lyrics of Word of God Speak and said, "the last thing I need is to be with You." #worshipheresy

"Lord, align Your will with ours." #worshipheresy

“Ashamed, I hear HIS mocking voice call out among the scoffers!" Sang that one loud and proud. #worshipheresy

Don't know if it’s heresy but during a prayer I meant to say, "God, be honored and glorified." It came out "God, be honorfied."

Heard during an offering prayer, "Lord, we thank you that Jesus set a wonderful example for us while being a great American."

"God, you always change!" #worshipheresy

Not really #worshipheresy, but I told my church peeps to "shake a neck and hug a hand" one time.

"Because a sinful Saviour died, my sinless soul is counted free." #worshipheresy

I was trying to prime our church for the pre-chorus of God of This City and I emphatically yelled, "There is no God!" #ranouttatime

"Thou on my head in early youth didst smite"...actual lyric is "thou on my head in early youth didst smile."

I once prayed for God to give a guy "aides." When you say that word out loud, no one pays attention to the letter E.

"Lead us into temptation and deliver us in evil..." Speed praying should've never happened. #worshipheresy

"Marvelous sins of our loving Lord…"

"Sex is better, money is better than You, Jesus."

I prayed, "We're just trying to repay You for what You’ve done."

Just caught myself singing "banana in the highest" to myself in the shower. Not quite right. Must be hungry this morning. #worshipheresy

Once heard a pastor say, "Please rise for the hymn of indecision." #worshipheresy

My dad used to sing "Gladly, the cross-eyed bear," but it sounded right to everyone else. #worshipheresy

“In every high and stormy gale, my anchor old within the whale." #worshipheresy

"God, that you would decrease so that I may increase..." Yep...prayed that during worship once. #worshipheresy

"O that with yonder sacred thong we at his feet may fall!"

Jesus on Every Page

I remember sitting on the porch of Kenyatta house in a tiny village in Nairobi, Kenya. I remember the early morning sun streaming across the porch, across the faces of those gathered, both black and white. I remember sitting across from Yeen-Lan, the village director, and listening as she told the story of Esther. And I remember it being the first moment I realized that Jesus was on every single page of the Bible, not just the New Testament.

Yeen-Lan was sharing from Esther 5.  At this point, Esther had already been named queen and she had uncovered the plot Haman had to kill the Jews. It was for such a time as this that she had came, to save her people.  She knew she could not remain silent.  But she also knew that if she approached the king uninvited, to plead on behalf of her people, the law declared she must be put to death.

But still she went to the inner court.  And the king stretched out his golden scepter, indicating his acceptance of her presence.

Yeen-Lan went on to say, "There is Jesus, right on the page, right in the middle of Esther, extending the golden scepter, letting us know we are welcome in his presence."

Ever since then, ever since hearing Yeen-Lan say, "It is Jesus on every page," I have been haunted by this idea.  Could he really be on every page? And not just in the New Testament, but in every book of the Bible, on every page of Scripture?  And if he is, how did I miss this?  How did I miss him?

I joked with a friend of mine as I explained to her this fascination I now had with finding Jesus on every page of the Bible.  She told me it would make a great thesis. Due to my aversion for academic writing, I told her I would probably spend the rest of my life writing it.

It turns out David Murray beat me to the punch and saved me the hassle.

And the name of his book?

Naturally.  

I forgive him for squelching my dissertation that I never planned on writing.   

Let me tell you what, though.  This book is rocking my world and completely altering how I view the Bible unlike few other books have.  I got a free advance copy through BookSneeze, and I have to say, it's probably been my favorite BookSneeze book yet, next to Love Does by Bob Goff.  Murray walks through ten key principles of how Christ is scattered throughout the Old Testament - through prophets, through creation, through characters, through history, through types, through covenants, through proverbs, and on.  You name it - and you will find Christ in the midst of it.  I can't get enough of this book - which makes me want the Bible all the more.  To read it, to soak it up, and to find Him - to find Christ on every page.  

I love the quote from Gleason Archer that Murray includes: "How can Christian pastors hope to feed their flock on a well-balanced spiritual diet if they completely neglect the 39 books of Holy Scripture on which Jesus and all the New Testament authors received their own spiritual nourishment?" 

And to that I say, it's not even Christian pastors, but Christians period!  How can we hope to feed ourselves on all that is Christ when we so often gloss over the entire first half of his Holy Word?!

He is there on every page. And he is worth finding.

Get the book Jesus on Every Page.  It is worth every penny.  

"And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, [Jesus] explained to them what was said in all the Scriptures concerning himself."   Luke 24:27  

Classic Childhood Moments

It had been awhile since I had seen my nieces and nephews.  After being gone in Guatemala and just generally having a goofy schedule, I was finally able to spend some time with them last week.  The photos below capture well the silliness that ensued.  And yes, that is a Hello Kitty tattoo on my niece's neck.  She's three and that's just where she felt like putting her tattoo.  I'm not going to argue with the girl.  

Love his "Chicks Heart Heroes" shirt.

And the winner for best moment of the night...

Classic.

It is Good

It's good to see Jonathan's sunflowers spring up again this year.  New seeds, new blooms, new life.  

New mercies every morning.

"How Far is 180 km?"

Too stinkin' far, that's how far.

Our time in Guatemala was coming to a close and we were on way back to the capital to meet up with the other team who had stayed in Guatemala City.  It had been a rich week - a lot was crammed into the few short days we had in Chisec.  We had loved on the kids in the schools and we had loved on the kids in the villages.  We had washed the feet of pastors' wives and we had held the hands of those seemingly forgotten by the rest of the world.  We had run from spiders and rats but we had run to Jesus when some were missing their kids and some were missing their comfort zones.  We had laughed when we wanted to cry and we smiled when we wanted to weep.

We set out from the mission station at 8 a.m. on Friday morning.  The goal was to get to Guatemala City in a timely manner, do a little bit of souvenir shopping, get cleaned up at the hotel and then meet the other team in time for dinner at 7 o'clock.

That goal got squelched about 45 minutes into the nearly 7 hour drive.

We were in Chisec, to the north, and
had to get to Guatemala City, to the south.

First off, I barely made it down the road before I got horribly nauseous from motion sickness.  A sinus infection had kicked in too the night before. I had already taken one Dramamine, thinking that would be more than sufficient.  I normally take a QUARTER of those tiny pills, but on this trip, I was popping a full dose every day. (I took two to get me through this particular trip.)  It wasn't that the roads in and of themselves were bad, it was that they were so windy, going up and down and all around through the mountains.  I should have known I would be doomed as soon as I sat a couple rows back in the bus.  It's such a miserable feeling, motion sickness.

So, I move up closer to the front of the bus, in the front seat.  The motion sickness gets less just because now I can actually see the road and see where I'm going. (If you've never had motion sickness, this will not make sense to you.  Consider yourself lucky.)

We kept cruising along and I kept wishing the trip was already over.  Meanwhile, my aisle buddy, Jill, was worse off than I was.  She caught some sort of bug and was getting sick to her stomach every so often. So there we were on the front seat of the bus, sicker than dogs.  We made quite the pair.  I took another Dramamine because the world was still spinning.

We came around a bend and found that traffic had come to a dead stop.  Cars were parked on the road and it was immediately clear nobody was going anywhere.  Manny, of Cindy and Manny, the husband and wife team that started Mission2Guatemala, parked the bus and got out to go see what was happening.  Manny was born and raised in Guatemala so he's well-acquainted with Guatemalan customs, traditions and odd things like stopped traffic mid-morning.

He came back a little while later and said the road is barricaded, we can't get through.  The indigenous people are protesting the government, we don't know when the blockade will be lifted.  There is absolutely no way through.

Awesome.

So Cindy and Manny started making phone calls to local friends and family who might know what was happening. At one point Manny suggested we might have to take the long way around, all the way to the coast and then back down to Guatemala City.

And I thought, "You've got to be joking me.  You can leave me on the side of the road at this point because I can't imagine another 8 hours on this bus."

We decided to turn around at this point and head back to the mission station and wait it out.  We eventually received tentative reports that the barricade would be lifted at 1 o'clock but we didn't want to get on the road again until we knew for sure.

Jill and I were still not doing so hot at this point.  We had come back to the mission station, found some empty beds and crashed, hoping the world will stop spinning and that our stomachs wouldn't betray us.

Word came that the barricades would likely be lifted soon.  If we were going to have any chance of making to Guatemala City before dark, we would need to leave soon.  So, out the door we went again.

The blockade had, in fact, been cleared and we rambled on down to Guatemala City.  At one point, I turned to Jill, who is still feeling miserable and I told her, "Should I end up on the floor for any reason and medical personnel need to know what pills I have taken, here they are..."  I figured somebody ought to know what I'm on in the event that these drugs don't mix well.  I realized in hindsight that she probably was not the ideal person to have told.  She had an equal chance of being on the floor next to me, with the medics asking her the same question of what drugs she had taken.

We were about 180 kilometers from Guatemala City when Jill sees the sign indicating the distance.  She turns to me and asks rather groggily, "How far is 180 kilometers?"

My equally groggy but smart aleck answer was "too stinkin' far."

Over 6 hours later and a few pit stops along the way, we finally made it to Guatemala City.  By then it was pouring down rain and the streets were flooding.  But I thought what's a little rain when you're so doped up you don't care anyway?  We were late for dinner so we went straight to the restaurant to meet the other team.  They, of course, look halfway decent, have clean clothes on and are actually looking and sounding rather chipper and happy.

I found it insanely annoying.

I had on a pair of khakis that hadn't been washed in a week and had been worn nearly every day of the trip.  I had no makeup on. My hair was pulled back in a ponytail with a headband on and I was still feeling miserable.  I really just wanted to be left alone in a dark corner for the next 24 hours and not speak to another living being.  It's the introvert in me.  I was on people overload and just ready to hide.  

And poor Mimi.  She was on the other team and she asked me how I was doing and if I was up to sharing any stories.

My response was simply, "No." And then I turned around.

Clearly I lose my filter when I don't feel well and am tired.  And clearly I am more prone to being rude. Note to self:  work on bad attitude when medicated and overwhelmed.  I apologized to her at the airport the next day, I felt so horrible about how I had responded.

We hopped on a plane the next day without a hitch, smooth flying from Guatemala City all the way back to Columbus.

But I still say 180 kilometers is too far.              

We Speak to Nations

Our team crossing the second stream before
reaching Monte Hermon

I don't think I have ever sweat so much before in my life.  I was sweating in places I didn't know could sweat.  And I know I wasn't the only one.  Our shirts were practically drenched and our bandannas couldn't seem to mop up enough of the sweat rolling down our faces, into our eyes, down our back.  But our hearts were full and our joy was complete because we had come to proclaim Him.

We had driven about twenty minutes and hiked an equal amount to find this remote village in the mountains of Guatemala, a village called Monte Hermon, or Mount Hermon. (You can find references to it in Psalm 42 or Psalm 89.)  We crossed two streams, hiked past a pineapple patch, breezed past the neatly swept dirt porches of wooden houses and gathered in the center of this small community, a community it seemed the rest of the world had forgotten.

The Mission2Guatemala staff had told us this village had never seen North Americans before.  Hard to imagine.  But one of the village leaders - maybe the pastor? I can't remember - had approached Mission2Guatemala and asked if they could send a team to come visit their village.  It was rather spur of the moment that our team was asked to go.  We were asked Tuesday morning if we wanted to go that afternoon.  Yes, of course, we'll go.  Doesn't matter the hike, doesn't matter the heat, doesn't matter the exhaustion.  I mean, isn't that why we came to Guatemala?  To roll up our sleeves and preach Jesus to the nations?

Filing into the church

The people filed into the tiny village church, one by one, all of the children clamoring to get to the front.  And there we were, more than 60 people squeezed together into what amounted to a space not much bigger than a single-car garage.  We danced and laughed and sang our way through the afternoon.  We spoke of Jesus and his free gift of salvation.  We spoke of his great love for us.  We spoke of his sacrifice.  And we spoke of his desire for the nations - that they would know he is God and that he had come to set them free.

Translating took some extra effort, as many of the people did not speak Spanish but Kekchi, an ancient Mayan language.  So most everything we said to the group got translated from English to Spanish, Spanish to Kekchi.  But we shared Jesus with them despite the language, despite the heat that was threatening to leave us all in puddles on the dirt floor.  (Of course, the Guatemalans have yet to break a sweat and are merely dabbing their foreheads while we are practically wringing out our clothes.)

Explaining the parachute game

We eventually made our way outside, beyond the stifling heat of the church.  We separated the children into small groups, doing our best to explain how to make the craft.  It essentially was a game of charades, pointing at beads, demonstrating knots, smiling, nodding, approving as best we knew how.  I think some of the kids probably wondered who these crazy white women were and what they were saying.

And trying to explain a game to a group of kids who had never seen a parachute before?  Yeah, you should have seen that one in action.  We pulled out a parachute we had, inflated some beach balls and set out to gather the kids around.  They really had no idea what we were trying to get them to do so here we are attempting to demonstrate the concept, looking like awkward fools.

And as we stood there, proclaiming Christ and loving people in simple ways, I just kept thinking, "This surely is what heaven will look like."  This is what it looks like for every knee to bow and every tongue to confess that Jesus Christ is Lord.  Someday when I get to heaven it won't matter the language.  I won't need to translate what I speak into Spanish and from Spanish to Kekchi.  It won't matter the skin color.  It won't matter the background.  It won't matter the family.  It won't matter the hurt.  It won't matter the disease.  It won't matter the nation or geography.  It won't matter the age and it won't matter the ability.  Because we will all bow before a mighty and holy God and confess that he is worthy of all glory, honor and praise.

But until that day - we speak to nations.

We speak to nations - be open.

We speak to nations - fall on your knees.

We speak to nations - the kingdom is coming near to you.

We speak to nations - be free.

In Our Expert Opinions

  

I wouldn't say that I am deathly afraid of spiders, small rodents or other creepy-crawlies.

It turns out I am delusional.

Our team of eight women had been in Guatemala for a few days already by the time last Wednesday rolled around.  We had spent Saturday and Sunday traveling, Monday was a prep day, Tuesday was spent in the school and then a remote village.  So by the time we hit Wednesday we thought we had been initiated into all that comes along with being in remote parts of foreign lands, mainly things like finding spiders in your shoes and killing enough no-see-ums (evil bugs) to last a lifetime.

It also turns out we were delusional.

We were wrapping things up for the night.  We had done our debriefing, had devotions and were heading back to our rooms.  You can see in the picture that the place we were staying was basically a thatched roof and all of the doors opened to the exterior.  (The bedrooms were all enclosed and had drop ceilings, so it's not like our rooms opened up straight into the thatched roof.)  I was the first to walk back down the exterior walkway, looking forward to crawling into bed and crashing for the night.  I got past the first door when I noticed a rather dark blotch on the side of the window frame.  The lights were dim so I wasn't entirely sure what I was looking at.

And then I got closer and realized I was looking at one hairy spider, seeming rather tarantula-like. I made an immediate u-turn and headed back to the group to warn them of our visitor.

The picture does not do it justice.  It was a baby tarantula
in our expert opinions.

So, of course, being women, we all gathered around, trying to get close but not too close.  I know, we do weird things.  We're terrified of the blasted thing but we still want to get close enough to get pictures.

And, of course, being women, we had to figure out how to kill the thing pronto.

And, of course, being women, we found the biggest can of bug spray we could find and unloaded about half of it on this spider.

He slowly slid his way down the wall and by the time he got to the floor, he was still going strong.  So we sprayed some more.  He kept inching along, fighting his way through the flood of bug spray.  We sprayed some more.  I didn't think this sucker was ever going to die.  And if he did, it would probably be our luck that he would come back from the dead.  

The black, round little blob is the dead spider.

Jill, being our resident bug zapper, whipped off her flip flop with the intent to just smash the thing and deliver the final blow.  And in my head I'm thinking, "Jill...I really don't think you want that thing all over the bottom of your shoe.  This is not some itty-bitty mosquito we are talking about crushing here."  Because there won't be just a little blood spatter by the time you get done killing this thing.  You'll need a stick to scrape this thing off.  So I told her to grab a rock.  

Which she did.  And then she dropped it on top of him.  Direct hit.  The rock proceeded to shatter all over the place, but thankfully when we removed a few chunks and unearthed the spider, he was curled up on his back, sufficiently dead. You lose.

But wait!  The story doesn't end there.

So we took a moment to regroup after our minor spider mishap.  We were all back standing up at the top of the stairs.  I decided I was going to brave another attempt to get back to my room and crawl into bed.  I was practically holding my breath, hoping nothing else would come out of the shadows.

I made it back to our door - and for whatever strange reason, I hesitated, just standing there before I opened it, staring at the door.  I then heard this slight rustling noise.  My immediate response was, "Dear Lord, please don't let anything come falling out of the rafters on top of me."

It didn't come out of the rafters but it sure came out of the shadows.  This rather smallish rat/extra extra large mouse came scrambling out of the shadows of my door frame.

I don't think I have ever screamed, jumped or scrambled so loud, so high or so fast in my life.

Which then precipitated a wave of correlating screams from the other seven women.  And I'm not even sure they knew what they were screaming about.  They just heard me screaming and saw me running.

At this point, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.  Cara was nearly beside herself in tears.  I think Karen was ready to pack her bags or at least sleep in a sealed container for the night.  And I'm honestly not sure how the rest of the women responded because I was too busy laughing hysterically out of nervous fear and adrenaline.

It's at this point that we see the lights from the mission house come on.  Out comes poor Karren, one of the Mission2Guatemala staff members, to check on us and make sure we were all still alive.  I'm sure with the amount of screaming we did, it was easy to think one of us had died or had at least been abducted.  We rehashed what happened and I think she was looking at us like we had lost our minds, especially when we showed her pictures of the spiders.  I swear it was bigger in real life than what the pictures indicate.  But being the polite, kind woman that she is, she humored us and checked our room for any creepy crawlies, four-legged creatures, or any other member of God's creation.

When I was telling the gathering of pastors' wives the next day about our little escapade, they, too, laughed and thought we were crazy and maybe slightly overreacting.  I liken it to the moment when a parent has a child who is overreacting and they want to pat the kid on the head and say in a slightly patronizing tone, "There, there.  It will all be okay."  I suppose if we had been in the South, they would have all just smiled sweetly at us and said, "Bless your little hearts."  

And since being home, I have killed two spiders.  They are no baby tarantulas, but at this point, I don't care.  They're dead.