But Later On, A Harvest

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.  Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. “Make level paths for your feet,” so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed. - Hebrews 12:7-13

I'm sitting on the other side of a season in life that proved to be one of the hardest I had walked through in awhile.  Not ever, but in awhile.  It was a season of tremendous weight and stress and sadness.  I just wanted it to end.  Isn't that how it usually goes, when we walk through seasons like that?  We don't care what the lessons are to be learned.  We don't care about how it's making us better people, or shaping our character.  We just want out.  Now.  We want the pain to end, and we want our misery to vanish.  We want to run back to the season of easy, a time of peace, days spent coasting.  

In the thick of last year, I started studying the book of Hebrews with my women's small group.  There were lots of verses that were pertinent, but Hebrews 12 came to mark most of last year.  I tend to date segments of my Bible according to when they correspond to my life.  Psalm 32 is marked with "Summer '06", when I was in Russia.  Ephesians 1:17-18 is marked with "Fall '05", at the start of my junior year of college.  And now Hebrews 12 is marked with "January 2015," when I first started wrestling my way through these verses.  

I felt like a lot of last year was a season of discipline.  The good Lord was clearly trying to purge my character of a few nasty traits.  At times it felt like a crucible, and quite frankly, I was sick of the heat getting turned up.  But I came back to these verses, and I had to keep trusting that God was disciplining me for my good, even if I didn't understand it all.  And it definitely didn't seem pleasant at the time, but certainly painful.  

And the verse I started to cling to more than any other was verse 11: "Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by." 

Later on, however.  

An annoying little phrase.  It means not right now. Not overnight.  

And in a world that thrives on right now, that phrase "later on" doesn't sit well.  I live in a generation of instant fixes, immediate responses, microwaved food, and "rocket mortgages".  Later on feels like eternity to my generation.  

But on the other side of later on is a harvest of righteousness and peace.

For those who have been trained by.

Also annoying.  

Because I only get the harvest of righteousness and peace - even if it is later on - if I am willing to be trained by the discipline.  So, not only do I have to wait for the harvest of peace, I actually have to endure a season of discipline to get to it.

I wrote in my journal last year:

I really want the harvest of righteousness and peace, but can I get it without the planting season of discipline, of conflict and tension?  Can you get those things without experiencing their opposites?  That's what this season feels like at times, a season of discipline, of refining in me and purging sins of pride and critical spirit, lack of grace and mercy.  And the hard part is that the verse says "later on." Which means we still have to lean into the discipline in the meantime.  In the meantime, you don't get to exit.  In the meantime, you don't get to escape or walk away.  Because if I'm willing to do that, if I'm willing to be trained by this season, then on the other side of it is a bountiful harvest of righteousness and peace.

I really love the closing verses to that portion of Scripture, verses 12-13, which give a very simple command: Strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees.  

Translation: Buck up.

Sometimes we don't get a choice as to when the seasons of discipline and hardship come.  (Although, sometimes we do - especially when we do knuckle-headed things all on our own.)  But we do get a choice as to how we will endure them.  Are we willing to be trained by those seasons?  Are we willing to strengthen our feeble arms and weak knees?  Or are we just going to whine about it and look for the quickest way out, and totally miss the harvest on the other side of our pain? (Believe me, I did plenty of whining and crying and stomping my feet last year to Jesus about it all, so don't think I sailed through last year singing praises of gratitude.)  

I definitely didn't find it easy to say this in the midst of all that was last year, so maybe it's easier to say this on the other side of it, but I know I want the harvest of righteousness and peace.  So, I'm going to be about the business of strengthening my feeble arms and weak knees.  

Because later on?  

A harvest.