Birthdays and Simple Truths

I think there are some moments in life when we fail to communicate just how much certain people mean to us or the impact they've had on our lives.  We assume they know.  We assume they know we love them.  We assume they know we respect and admire them.  We assume they know how much we appreciate them.  We assume a lot. And we fail to encourage along the way because of those assumptions.  And it's often the people we think are the strongest are actually the ones who most need to hear how valuable they are.  I think the men in our lives especially never hear the words of encouragement that are so desperately needed.  They live lives of quiet and desperate defeat and we keep passing up the opportunities to speak a few words of life and meaning. 

I'll be the first to admit that my family - well, I probably should speak only for myself - doesn't always do a good job of communicating.  But what family does?  We get our wires crossed and we get bent out of shape - and we assume. 

My dad's birthday is tomorrow (don't shoot me, Dad, for announcing that to the whole wide world - or at least the 12 people who consistently read this blog) and I realized I needed to take this moment and make sure nothing was assumed.

So, to you, Dad - there seems to be this simple truth that I can't escape and I want you to hear it on your birthday and not assume you know this:

You're not a failure.

You're not a failure.

I can't even begin to imagine the sacrifices you (and Mom!) have made for me over the years.  You let go of me when you least wanted to, when your parenting instincts told you to hold on the tightest.  You watched your only daughter and youngest child head off to Missouri and Russia, California and Kenya, and so many other places in between.  Your insides probably screamed and warning bells probably went off in your head, but you gave your blessing anyways, each and every time.  I can't tell you what that means to me, the signficance of those blessings.  I would never even have considered taking the risks I have taken if it weren't for your quiet and steady support - and especially your words of wisdom that always seem to come at just the right moment.

In the past you've often asked me how it is that I got to be so confident and self-assured.  And I think, "Easy - because that's how you and mom are.  I just sat back and watched and learned from the best."  Whoever I am today is made up in part because of you and Mom, through the grace of God.  I know you have often wondered where you went wrong or maybe how you could have done things differently in raising us kids.  We all make mistakes, so yes, we each could have done things differently but you have given us your very best, in the best way you know how.  And that will always be enough.  "Thanks" will never suffice.

But I also want to encourage you to take care of yourself, your health.  I need you (bionic knee and all) to be there to walk me down the aisle should God ever allow that to happen in my life.  We've probably far too often nagged you in the past instead of simply encouraging.  I'm sorry for that. We sometimes just didn't always know the right words to say or how to say them.  We just want you around for as long as possible. 

Sorry for getting all sentimental on you in a public forum. :) I figured it was worth the risk.  The rest of the world needs to know, too, what a great dad  you are.  I wouldn't trade you for anything.  You will always be enough.  Happy birthday, Dad.