Dear Blank Please Blank

I am slightly obsessed with a new-to-me website that my cousin told me about.  It's a general time-waster, but man, it's funny.  It's called "Dear Blank Please Blank" and people can submit little one-liners that are written to whomever, followed by "please _________," followed by a closing of some kind.  I think the site is hysterical and I check it frequently, especially when I need a laugh.  I present to you some of my favorites:

Dear Scholarship Application Requirements,

So, in the off-chance that I'm not a blind, left-handed, Lebanese-Inuit majoring in Sustainable Pear Farming, how should I pay for college?

Sincerely, 99.9% of the Population.

Dear Prince Charming,

Who wants a castle when you could have a whole new world?

Sincerely, Aladdin.

Dear Little Miss Muffet,

What the heck is a 'tuffet?'

Sincerely, Little Children around the World.

Dear school spirit week,

I swear I'm not the only decade.

Sincerely, the 80's.

Dear Google,

Please 'auto-complete' my thesis.

Sincerely, Grad Student.

Dear Graffiti Artist,

How in the world did you get up there?

Sincerely, Confused.

Dear Noah,

We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.

Sincerely, Unicorns.

Enjoy.  And make up a few of your own along the way.  :)