You ever have those adventures where you've got your hopes up so high and then you get to wherever it is you're going only to be disappointed? I had one of those adventures today. But as I've learned through life, you learn to make the most of the situation and try to figure out a way to redeem it. It usually involves a lot of silliness.
Case in point - I had nothing on the agenda for the weekend but really didn't want to sit around either and do nothing. So I texted my cousin to see what he was up to. Nothing. Awesome. Glad we're in the same boat. What do you want to do? I don't care, whatever you want to do. Statehouse tour? Christmas shopping? Tour of local caverns? (I almost wrote taverns - that probably would have been just as exciting.) I don't care, you pick. You're no help. I have a coupon for the caverns, let's go there. Awesome. See you in the morning.
So we roll out of bed and get ready to go on our little adventure up to Olentangy Indian Caverns, about 20 minutes from where I live. On the car ride up, while listening to Taylor Swift's new CD (my choice), we discuss the merits of her music and try to determine whether she can actually sing. We have no solid conclusion to that discussion, other than the fact that Taylor gets bonus points for writing her own music.
As we get closer to the caverns, we're taking bets that we will be the only people there on a cold Saturday in November. We were pleasantly surprised to find about 5 cars in the parking lot, better than nothing. We grab our tickets and head underground. We've got our handy dandy map and I look like I'm about ready to climb Everest. I've got a ski cap on, my quilted jacket, a polar fleece coat under that, a long sleeve t-shirt under that, mittens, and snow boots on. Hey, I get cold easily. I know to be prepared. So even though I look like an eskimo to the rest of the world, I'm quite comfortable.
We trudge down the stairs into the cave, pushing the buttons along the way that give audio recordings explaining this, that, and the other. We follow the map to the first room. Basically stand in one point spot, turn in a circle, and that's about it. So maybe you're 150 feet below ground at this point and the ceiling is about 50 feet high. Cool. Okay, next room. Skinny Man's Squeeze where we find Indian Lover's Bench (no joke - that's what it's called on the map). And yes, it's skinny. Even I had to turn sideways to make it up there. End of that room. Next. Turn in a circle, go up a few walkways and we're done. Next. A stalactite that looks like a beehive. Hmm. Could have fooled me. Crystal Room? Uh, you might you want to give it a different name because I'm pretty sure these look nothing like crystals to me. Looks more like moss. Chief Leatherlips' profile in the rock? Your guess is as good as mine. I think maybe this is his nose and those are his eyes. Or maybe this is his forehead and that's his nose? Wait, if you stand here I think I see an elephant.
Twenty minutes later we're wondering if we read the map wrong and somehow missed half of the cave because there's no way we can be done.
But we were. And then we were invaded by a Boy Scout troop and we decided to exit stage left.
So now what? We drove all the way up here and we've seen it all in less than 30 minutes. Disappointment was setting in. Is it possible to be disillusioned with a cave?
What do you do when all else fails? Picture time! This is when silliness sets in, shortly after you learn to let go of your disappointment. We trounced around the cave looking for the next great photo op. But try finding a flat surface in a cave that isn't covered with dripping water or moss so that you put your camera on self-timer. Not easy. So we walked back through all the rooms again wondering we where we could snap our next Kodak moment. Some photos I felt like we were shooting really cheesy senior photos, only underground. But then we got to laughing so hard we didn't care. After awhile we decided we could no longer delay our return to the surface because there was literally nothing else left for us to do. Only so many photos can be taken.
By the time we got to the top of the 3 flights of stairs, we were both breathing so hard and our legs were burning so bad that we had to take a pit stop and gulp in air, right next to the life-size wooden Indian, of course. (I have never claimed to work out regularly or do any form of exercise. It clearly showed today.) We made it back to the car and where we decided we had no Plan B by which we could redeem the day. So we drove home, watched Ohio State's game and decided that we were glad we had a coupon for buy one get one free because I'm sad to say, Olentangy Indian Caverns isn't worth the $8.50 they charge.
But I did get a smashed penny out of the deal. :)
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