General Update: What Does One Do With Curls?

My body went and made a liar out of me. In my last update on April 13, I said, "I started round number eight of chemo this past week, and yesterday was the last dose. I had far less nausea this time, having implemented some changes in how to handle it. I haven't been as miserable as the last two cycles have been, but I'm still not out of the clear just yet. I usually give it another 5-7 days after the last dose before I really come up for air." 

I made it sound like it wasn't that bad, but the key word there was yet. 

Judas Priest and a popsicle stick. 

That little window of "5-7 days after" was by far the worst days I've had during chemo yet. I felt absolutely awful. I had vision problems, was sick to my stomach multiple times, had terrible, terrible nausea, and slept a lot. I think I just left the curtains pulled most of the time, living like Isaiah 9:2 conveys, a person 'walking in the land of darkness.' Only I had not yet seen a 'great light,' so to speak. I rotated between the recliner, the couch, and the bed. 

I met with the neuro onc earlier this week and after I explained how bad this round was, he said I had two options: One, I could take a week break before this next cycle, or two, I could forge ahead with the next round but at a slightly lower dose. I opted for option two. I had already mapped out my month around chemo starting at a certain time, and I didn't want to derail that. So, I'll start round number nine (only three more after this!) next week, and I am praying that it is not as bad as this last one. 

Despite my chemo misery, perhaps my 'great light' in all this is my new anti-seizure medication. What a game-changer. All that lobbying and pressing to get it have paid off in spades. I made some rough calculations and based on the hours I've gained back from my morning snoozes and the evening hours of not going to bed so early, I now have an additional twenty hours in my week. TWENTY HOURS. 2-0. Twenty. It is wild to me what a significant difference it has made in my life to not get so drowsy every time I took my medication in the mornings and evenings. I'm feeling like Princess Jasmine in Aladdin, a whole new world has arrived on my doorstep minus the magic carpet and a handsome fella, unfortunately.

Thanks, radiation and chemo.

I know one thing I'm having to use those twenty hours for is trying to figure out what to do with curly/wavy hair that has volume and body. I went forty years of my life with hair that was stick straight and had zero volume or body. I think my mother spent most of my childhood lamenting the fact that my long, blonde hair just simply would.not.hold.curl, no matter how much hair spray she used or how long we left those pink sponge curlers in overnight. Acts of futility and insanity. Just ain't happening. 

And now, I get out of the shower, look in the mirror, and think to myself every day, "What is this mess? And what does one do with it?" I still haven't fully decided what long-term look I am aiming for, but these curls may dictate a lot. 

Generally speaking, the good days are really good, and the bad days are really bad. On the good days, I have lots of energy, I'm productive, I eat well, I'm connecting with friends and family, and generally going about life like normal. 

But those bad days are really bad. I go into hibernation mode and don't want to surface for a long time. I struggle to eat, it's tough to drink water because even that makes me want to gag, and would prefer to fall off the face of the earth for that stretch of time. 

I'm praying this lower dose will help the cause. Thanks to everyone who continues to keep in touch and doesn't take offense when it takes me a chunk of time to respond to texts or calls. It's definitely challenging trying to figure out how to pace my time in the good days between cycles. My month basically gets shrunk from 30 days to 20 days and I think the last couple of cycles, I've overcommitted on those good days in between. Regardless, I'm so grateful for everyone's continued support and prayers, good days and bad.