General Update: Stars and Stripe Forever

Why it took nearly ten months for this question to dawn on me, I do not know. Maybe we can blame it on the brain tumor I've got going on upstairs.

All along I've been able to feel all the knots and bumps that now exist on my head. Obviously there are ones along the scar line, but about two inches farther down, closer to my right ear, there's another bumpy ridge line, just not as pronounced. So, I began to wonder, what all is making up these knots precisely? 

I messaged my neurosurgeon to see if they had pictures from the surgery so I could maybe have a visual of the skull plate they removed to get to the tumor. They responded by simply saying all of it could be found in my imaging files, which wasn't exactly helpful, as trying to find images in the recesses of MyChart is no small feat.

So, I asked the neuro-oncologist at my latest appointment, and said, "I know what I can feel with my fingers and the surgeon said it's in my files, but can you tell me what it all looks like?" 

And then he popped up this image on the screen:

I thought my eyes were going to pop out of my head. I guess I had a vague inclination that they had implanted something to hold my skull back together, but I sure wasn't envisioning this. This is an image taken straight from my latest MRI, from the angle as if you were standing over me, looking down at my skull. Mind you, things are the opposite on MRIs. The tumor is still very much on the RIGHT side of my brain, even though it appears on the left here. 

Those three 'stars' are what's called burr hole covers. There are two that sit directly on my scar line, what I'm calling the 'stripe.'  The third one sits farther down toward my right ear. They are fifteen millimeter titanium plates, each with six holes for four millimeter screws. So, when they cut part of my skull out in order to access the tumor, after the surgery, they simply put the bone plate back in and literally screwed everything back together. (From what I can gather, I don't actually need them the rest of my life, just long enough to let the bone fuse back together, but they design them with the intent to leave everything in. Thus, stars and (singular) stripe forever! And no, I shouldn't set off any airport security detectors.)

It is now quite possible that some day I could literally have a 'loose screw'! 

It also probably means that headstand I attempted to show my niece and nephew a few months back was maaaayyyybeee not the best idea. 😬

Once I put my eyeballs back in my head after that discovery, we further discussed the MRI findings, which showed that technically the tumor had shrunk evvvver so slightly, but he still classifies it in the stable category. But let's go with the shrunk category just for kicks! 

I start my next round of chemo tonight, which is cycle seven and puts me past the halfway mark! We are still doing the same dose I've been doing for the last several rounds, but I do keep running into bumps with my platelets and white blood cell counts dropping. They were both low this time, but apparently not enough to delay things, which surprised me.

I had an appointment with the seizure doc today for routine follow-up. We are going to switch some things up with the meds to see if we can curb this drowsiness I've had every day since last June when I started chemo. I told him if I'm choosing between a daily nap or a seizure, I'm taking the nap. So, it's not that I'm wanting to go too crazy with any changes, but I'm certainly more open to changes than at my last appointment, the more time passes from the last episode. I definitely want to err on the side of caution, but my life is definitely oriented around that morning drowsy spell. 

The non-arched St. Louis Arch

I started back to the gym once a week. It feels soooo good to have certain muscles moving again. Everything is still super slow and super gentle. My body has been wound so tight for so long that I just have to start by getting some things to loosen up. 

See also my spine, which is anything but loose.

I've had such stiff posture for the last ten months, using everything in my low back to hold me upright, that I don't even have enough stretch in my spine to put my socks on. So, one of the things we started with was just a simple reach, trying to totally let go of my spine so that I could get some curvature back. I bent over and Michelle, the co-owner of the gym and trainer at present, gently tapped my lower spine and asked if I could get anymore bend to it. I told her, "Michelle, I feel like a camel right now, I've got so much curve in my spine." I could tell by the sound of her voice, and the near-silent chuckle coming out of her that this was most certainly not the case. "I could serve drinks on your spine," she said in quiet, amused tone. She had me move over so I could see in the mirror. Yep, flat as a board. I kid you not, I felt like my spine was in the shape of the St. Louis Arch. Maybe they also put titanium rods in my spine while they were putting my skull back together with titanium plates.

But hey! We all gotta start (over) somewhere! I mean, good gravy, ten months ago, I wasn't allowed out of my hospital bed because I couldn't be trusted to stand upright, let alone walk, or touch my toes, for that matter.

So, hopefully in the coming months, my spine can maybe move from 2x4 straight to a little bit more of an arch. 

Here's to the stars, stripe, and some-day arches!