From my other blog, written back in July
Just then a woman who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak. She said to herself, "If I only touch his cloak, I will be healed." Jesus turned and saw her. "Take heart, daughter," he said, "your faith has healed you." And the woman was healed from that moment." Matthew 9:20-22
Some moments in life just creep up and surprise you. Some moments when you look back and wonder what just happened. And some moments when you think to yourself, "So...this, this is what it's all about." I've been praying here recently, "Lord, let me be a blessing in someone's life. Let me somehow bring life and light to someone's day today, no matter how small an act." I shouldn't be surprised when I pray for such things and then they happen.
I went to church today not looking for anything profound or out of the ordinary to happen. But that all changed when I sat down next to a frail, quiet, 73-year old woman named Annaliese. I didn't really say much to her at first - really, I didn't know what to say at all, if anything. I had never seen her before and assumed she was new. She leaned over before the sermon started and said, "You'll have to excuse me if I leave. I'm in terrible pain right now and I just don't know if I can stay." I peppered her with a few questions about her pain and if this was her first Sunday here and such. I noticed she had a slight accent, but I didn't get a chance to ask her about it. The sermon started and we didn't get to say much more. I kept an eye on her throughout the service, just to make sure she was okay and that she wasn't in too much pain. Pastor Brad spoke of offering our lives as sacrifices, to reach out to a world that is in desperate need of help and hope.
We sang a few worship songs at the conclusion and we were dismissed. I assumed Annaliese would get up and leave shortly after. I turned to her and told her it was so great to have her here today and I hoped she comes back next week.But she stopped. And I stopped. And then the story started.
Annaliese was born in Germany and moved to American in 1959. While still living in Gemany, she was diagnosed with polio one week before the start of World War II. To any history person, you can immediately see the implications of her situation: it spells doom for a person diagnosed with polio just before Hitler comes to power, a man who is determined to wipe out anyone who is not "perfect." Annaliese went on to tell me that her mother had said to her at that time that she as a mother should probably just find a cliff to shove her daughter off because her daughter would have no purpose in the Aryan world. It's been a lie that has haunted Annaliese for nearly 7 decades. She went on to tell me that she felt like her life had no meaning, no purpose and that she had no hope. Tears are streaming down her face (and mine at this point).
The sadness was so evident in her eyes, in her demeanor. She explained how she had been to other churches but had never quite connected, but today - today at Lifepoint, she found faith. She had been told most of her life that she had to live her life alone, so to speak, and that it was wrong to serve others. A therapist had told her at one point that it was a sickness to serve others, to focus so much on the needs of others and not your own. She would shake her head sometimes and pause - the sorrow was evident in her words. Sorrow over all the things she had believed and all the burdens she had lived with these years. She talked about not having meaning and I immediately said to her, "You have meaning, and you have been a blessing to me this morning." She looked stunned - nearly in disbelief that such words could be true about her. She, of course, started crying again, which made me cry even more.
Pastor Brad comes over at this point and the story comes out all over again. But this time she adds an extra tidbit of information, which just broke my heart. When spoke of what her mother had said to her all those years ago, she said, "This is the first time I've been able to cry about it." All this time, she had been holding it in, living with the lie and the darkness, haunted by it. And today it come into the light. We then proceeded to pray with her and I couldn't wipe the tears fast enough. As we wrapped things up, she filled out the church's connection card, where you can put your contact info and any prayer requests. Instead of listing prayer requests, she instead writes the quote that said something to the effect of "you never know what unknown is already on its way." She looked up, looked me directly in the eye, and said so tenderly, "You were my unknown. You sat down next to me and you gave me hope. I see now that I do have meaning - and with what Pastor Brad said - I can see that there's something I still can do: witness."I hugged her for probably the third time this morning and said I would see her next week. I already know where I'm sitting - it was assigned this morning.
"One Touch" by Nicole C. Mullen
Been ostracized for 12 years
I’m used to being alone
Spend everything I had and now
It’s goneI’m used to being put down
My issues tell it all
My only hope is anchored in this fall
If I could just touch the hem of His garment
I know I’d be made whole
If I could just press my way through this madness
His love would fill my soul
If only One Touch
So many people calling
How could He every know
That just the brush of Him would stop the flow
If He knew would he would rebuke me?
Or shame me to the crowd?
Well, I’m desperate because it’s never or now
And then suddenly He turned around
He said somebody has unleashed My power
Well, frightened and embarrassed I bowed
You see I told Him of my troubles and how,
I had to touch the hem of His garment
And I know I’ve been made whole
And how I had pressed my way through the madness
And His love has healed my soul
Then with one word, He touched the hem of my garment
And you know I’ve been made whole
And somehow He pressed His way through my madness
And His love has healed my soulI tell you He touched me
He reached way down and touched me
When no one else would touch me.
And I know I’ve been made whole.
So, never forego the opportunity to be the hem of His garment. You never know who is reaching out to touch it.
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